Dragging my feet yelling "No!"

Gods refining process is going on again. lol. He's taking me to new territory to trust him, that frankly, I don't want to go on! Oh, I know the outcome will be good, I know that. But the process, well, it's never very fun!

I have posted before about my spending habits, and this is something God is going to use not only to make my husband happy, but to bring me to a place of trusting God like I have never trusted him before. It's amazing how many things have come from this cancer, and to think, I didn't want the cancer! lol.

Anyway, this past weekend my husband approached me w/the credit card bill and was let's say, "upset" about how much I spent on Supplements. He said, "Your done". He also said, "It's not worth it". Of course in my head, I heard, "YOU'RE" not worth it. I'm sure that is not what Kevin meant, but that is what I heard, so the tears came. Anyway, he said I'm spending too much money on supplements and we can't do that anymore.

Now if you know me, or follow either of my blogs, you know that being healthy has become VERY important to me after having cancer. I study a lot about health and currently see a Naturopath among a few others to get my immune system where it should be to fight off cancer. ( Remember we all have cancer cells, its a matter if our bodies can fight them off) Anyway, hearing him say "Your done" , those were scary words for me.

I was upset and crabby and hurt. However, after reading through my bible study the next morning, I realized, God is at work again. Oh why does he find me worthy of this? He's trying to bring me to a place of complete trust in him, he's saying, "Come on Amy, take my hand! We are going to teach you how to trust me as your God, and I am pulling back saying, nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! I want to stay here and just say I trust you!!

I do a bible study at my house on Monday nights, and I had already did the work for this Monday, but for some reason, I felt inclined to "go over" the lesson again yesterday morning. Well, amazingly, I came up with a page of things that I hadn't written when I did the bible study the first time. huh, amazing how God works sometimes.

Here is what I wrote down ~

~This is a season of learning to depend on God.

~ God wants COMPLETE TRUST.

~ Whenever he strips something away, he does it for our own good, not to harm us.

~ Resist getting bitter, don't answer the knock of bitterness.

~ Have I learned to depend on God like never before?

~ Do I believe that with God all things are possible?

~ To believe God, we need to leave our comfort zone. (uh oh!)

So we are back to the question from before, I think I posted in one of my last entries, what my Pastor said in an email to me , "Am I putting my faith in supplements or in God?"

I guess the point didn't come across quite strong enough the first time around, so God had to bring it around again. He's really good at that. :) If I don't get something the first time, he'll come back again and "remind" me. lol. What a merciful God we have. He's so patient with us when we don't understand things, or we "ignore" them.

So, I guess having God speak through my Pastor wasn't quite enough for me, God had to give me the billboard sign, as usual.

God wants me to rely on him to keep me alive. That is some serious business. The question is, Do I trust him?

My husband is supposed to be the head of the house, and the spiritual leader, so I'm not supposed to "fight" this, I'm supposed to go with it and trust. It's HARD.

But I know in the end, it will be what's best for me. It will be good for me, and it will glorify God.

So for now, I'm going to give in to God and let him take control. I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

Oh, and I do still think that God wants us to take care of our bodies. I don't think this means that just because God is in control of when we live or die that he doesn't expect us to take care of these temples.

Remember this verse~

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New Living Translation)

19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

We do still need to watch what foods we put in our bodies, give it the nutrients we can, supplements we can afford, and get some exercise!

So don't read my post and go eat a jelly doughnut for breakfast. :)

Watch this video on God's refining us. It might even make you cry!