Rituals for lent.

I hope this post is of the Lord.  I pray it is. There were some other things that I read this morning that I thought God was speaking to me about. Matter a fact, I know he was speaking to me about them. Although, I thought he was showing me something for my bible study group, and that it could be a post for a different day.  I saved the info with book marks in my bible. I shared before that we are doing a study on Craving God instead of craving food, which in essence, could be about anything, about craving anything more then God.

Today I saw a few comments on face book about people giving up things for Lent. This got me thinking, and praying. Let me state something really clearly here, I know I am not perfect. I have many faults, I am a sinner, and I need Jesus to forgive me and guide me and lead me.  I hope this post doesn't make anyone upset, but if it does, I'm sorry and I'm not trying to "start" anything. lol..

For some reason, when this time of year rolls around, I get a little bit "irked" with rituals. Or maybe I should say people that just live by rituals, people that do things because that's what the church does, or because that's what they were taught to do.

I see people saying that they are giving up this or that for lent, or that they can't eat meat on Fridays, only fish, and then I think, what about the rest of the year? What about how you live your life every other single day? Do you think God doesn't care about that?  God doesn't only want you to live for him at lent time. He doesn't want you to give up things at all if your heart isn't in it. If you give up chocolate for lent, just because it's lent, that means nothing to God. Nothing. If you are doing it because you want to please him, and you love him, and want to live everyday of your life for him, that's different.  If you are advertising that you are giving up something for lent, you are doing it for show, for people's approval, not for God.  Are you observing rituals or do you have love in your heart for God? Are you giving up baked goods but then having sex without being married? Are you giving up face book but then cheating on your spouse? Giving up things for God isn't just for lent.

 This morning my daily devotional led me to the book of Galatians.

 I started in Gal 5:16~ So I say, live by the spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

 Gal 5:19-21~  When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,  idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division,  envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Ouch.

In the commentary it says this~ Those who ignore such sins or refuse to deal with them reveal that they have not received the gift of the spirit that leads to a transformed life.

Another ouch.

So, the bible study we are doing is basically about Idolatry.  Anything that we put before God, is more important to us then God, maybe we feel we can't give it up or live without it, it's an Idol to us. That's idolatry. So for me, yeah, food is an idol and I need to watch how much I eat and don't be a glutton.

Sometimes I have selfish ambition, I put myself and my own needs before others needs, like my kids, or my husband, or Friends.  So yes, I sure am a sinner, and i need to repent of these things and try not to live by my flesh. The next verses are the fruit of the spirit~

Galatians 5:22-25~

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

The commentary says this- If we want the fruit of the spirit to grow in us, we must join our lives to his. We must know him, love him, remember him and imitate him.

So what does that mean? I need to spend more time with God. Read my bible more, pray more, sit at his feet more and listen to him. I can't muster up the fruit of the spirit by myself. I need Jesus for that.

I guess my thought is, we need to give up things for God everyday of the year, and because we love him, because he sacrificed his son for us so we don't go to hell. If something is an idol for you, you should work on giving that up everyday, not just for lent.  Don't give up something for lent and advertise it to impress people of this world, God is not impressed.

Maybe instead of giving up something, give him something. Give him some of your time, spend some time with him, read his word, get to know him.  Prepare your heart for Easter by getting to know your Savior.

Seeing the beauty in things..........

God said so much this morning, how can I not be in awe by him? I didn't read all that much of his word this morning, it was more read a little bit and think on it, read a little more and think on it, he was just full of things to say to me this morning.

When I first came down the steps this morning and saw the snow, I thought, "that is not pretty anymore" But instantly God changed my mind and I thought, no, it IS pretty, even though I don't really want to see it anymore.

A little while later I was comfy in my chair by my kitchen window, dogs sitting by me, bible in my lap, and I couldn't help but stare at the snow just swirling around in the backyard and the bushes and tree branches covered with the beautiful white snow. It IS beautiful. I took pictures, which won't do it justice because it's just a crappy little camera, but I'll share them anyway. But it is beautiful, clean white snow. Reminds me of a song we sang at church last Sunday, Jesus washed us white as snow.

Anyway, sitting there, thinking about how I long for warm spring and budding flowers, and green grass, and hot summer days, I looked at that snow and thought, even though, yes even though I don't want it right now, it is still beautiful.

It reminds me of my cancer that I had. As I've said so many times, cancer was always a fear to me because of losing my mom to it at age 11. But right now, at this moment, I can say having had that cancer in our lives, is a beautiful thing. Having it, and going through the cancer itself was most certainly not beautiful, I am not going to make "fluff" of that! It was far from beautiful. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and I know my husband and kids and family and friends would say the same.

I sure didn't want it at that season of my life, or any time for that matter. But it has brought beauty to my life. The ugly cancer brought beauty. I used to take the saying " Everyday is a gift" lightly. I don't anymore. Everyday that I wake up with breath is a gift to me now. Everyday that I get to do anything, get out of bed, swallow, eat, talk, spend time with my kids, clean the house, all gifts. I am here, alive and it's a gift. I look at life, at everything, through different eyes now because of the cancer. The cancer, made things more beautiful, made life more beautiful. I appreciate things so much more then I used to. That's a gift in itself. A gift from God that I would have never asked for! It's obvious that we are so small and don't see the big beautiful picture that God sees. Our minds can't understand it. We don't see the end product. The day I was told I have cancer in my body I was not thinking, oh that's wonderful!! I'm sure something beautiful will come of it! Those thoughts were far from my mind!

But God has turned something so ugly into something so beautiful in my life.

This morning I was also thinking and praying about a friend who is a cancer survivor, just reached her one year anniversary, and is waiting for a biopsy today to see if the spot they see is cancer or not. I think about her in waiting, like I was the last week, after they saw that spot on my liver, and waiting the entire week for the PET scan, and waiting on Monday from 6:30am to 3pm for the results of the scan.

I think how knowing Jesus, having a relationship with God and being close to him got me through that week with such peace. Sure I had a day when the evil one tried to get me worrying, but I had back up. I had friends with strong faith to call on, who gave me words of faith to bring my mind and heart back to Jesus and stop the nonsense. To bring me back to who was in control of my life and my body and my healing. God. If I didn't know Jesus, or read God's word, or have friends with strong faith, how would I have made it through that week? I would have never made it through with such peace as I did. God did that. As I said in my last blog, he sent me verses, daily devotions, calenders, you name it, every single day about fear. We need God in our lives for when those hard times come. If you read his word, and get to know him when things are good, it makes hard times easier. Sometimes I think that's why he allows struggles in our life. So that we pull closer to him, run to him, realize that we NEED him, that HE is in control. When life is running smooth, we think we are in control, but when things go bad, we quickly realize we are far from in control, that it's all up to God and we had better get on our knees. But God doesn't want to be a 911 call. He wants us to have relationship with him everyday, even when times are good. He wants us to get to know him and love him, then when troubles come, we can lean in on him for comfort.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out it's roots by the stream,
It does  not fear when heat comes;
Its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8

This morning I will embrace the snows clean white beauty, and know that around the corner, the warmth of spring is coming. I pray that those that read my blog that don't know Jesus, that you would seek him. I pray that if you are in hard times, you seek his face for the good to come of it.

If you are a prayer warrior, please pray for my friend this morning. That her biopsy is not cancer.

much love.............

Cancer free scan!

I am still basking in all God's love and faithfulness this morning.  I have had an overwhelming feeling to just get on my face and give him praise because he gets all the glory for this healing.

Praise God is all I can think about right now!

This has been just an amazing faith building week for me. God provided me with peace and love letters all week leading up to the scan, comforting me with his love and telling me not to fear. No matter what the results would be, not to fear, that he loved me, and he loved my husband and my kids. I took my Pastor and friend Tommy's advice and lived out what I believe, that God is loving and whatever happens it was for my good. God got me through a very tough week with a peace that I can't even explain. One day that evil one tried to mess with my faith, but God's word and my faithful sisters in Christ got me through that.

Kevin and I actually had a wonderful 24 hours with our trip to mayo. We had 9 hours of drive time to talk. Kevin said we probably got two months worth of talking in, in that time we spent together. We stayed at a different hotel, (one that had no bad memories of feeding tubes!) and had a nice comfy bed. On Mon morning when my scan was over we went back to the hotel and talked more, about God and how he is changing us for the better because of the cancer that I once had. How he was using it to make us better people, and how we shouldn't leave mayo without being changed, no matter what the results were. We had a wonderful relaxing day waiting for my apt with Dr. Moore. We had a very yummy Italian lunch at Victoria's, (thanks mom) and  we had almost 2 hours to sit in comfy chairs at Starbucks and just enjoy each others company. At Starbucks, it was getting near to apt time, I started to get that little knot in my stomach,  I pulled out my little bible and read some verses that I had marked from previous trips to mayo and read them to Kevin~

" I am the God of your father Abraham, Do not be afraid, for I am with you, I will bless  you" Genesis 26:26

" Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today!" Exodus 14:13

" Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you: he will never leave you or forsake you"  Deut 31:6

" You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you." 2 Chronicles 20:17

I felt peace. God was with us. I was praying and believing God that he had already answered all the prayers.

I remembered what I told Jake the day before, we were looking at my daily calender and it had a verse from Mark on it, ~  "If you can?" Said Jesus. Everything is possible for him who believes."  Jake and I read that I told him, pray to God for a clean scan, and then thank him for answering the prayer.  I praise God he answered so many peoples prayers yesterday. Hallelujah!!

The appointment went really well. I have a heart for these two doctors and can't help but smile when they come in the room.

Eli is Dr. Moore's PA, he usually comes in first. He asked how I was and what was new and I told him about the liver spot. He looked at my PET scan on the computer and just smiled. Nothing was lit up on or around my liver. There was a spot on it, but it's not cancer. Don't know what it is and frankly, today, I don't care! As long as it's not cancer! 

He said what was lit up on the left tongue base was exactly the same as last time, and they think that is nothing but that side of my tongue overcompensating for all that was removed on the right side.

Dr. Moore came in after , gave me another exam, felt everything, said everything looks really good. He said the same as Eli that what was lit up on the left is nothing, he doesn't feel need to biopsy it, and he said when I come back in 3 months which will be ONE YEAR from my surgery date, I need NO SCAN. Praise God again! 

Kevin had to get a picture of me smiling after that news. Our faithful God was all I could think about.

We had a safe drive home, came home to sick kids with fevers, but that's OK. Good to be home with our babies and know that I have more days to spend with them.

Thank you every single one of you for praying. God heard your prayers and he answered.

Nothing is impossible with God!!  Luke 1:37

love you all!!!!  

Who am I?

God just amazes me. I love this song because it speaks so much truth. Who am I that God cares so much about the little details of my life? God's love is so amazing I just can't even wrap my mind around it. God, of the huge universe, cares about my day, about my feelings, my fears. He cares enough to send me to certain scriptures to read, sends me devotionals about exactly what I need to hear and people to pray for me. He cares about the details of my life. Me. Thank you Jesus. xo