About You

You are LOVED by God. There is nothing you can do, or can't do to make him love you more or less. He loves you because he loves you. Because you are His child.

More then your past
Worth it
A treasure
You matter.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Praying for God's will

I was talking to my friend Mary this weekend, actually emailing with her, and she asked me what made me decide to do radiation. The only answer I could come up with is, well , basically fear. Fear of the cancer coming back. just doing what the doctors tell me to do. She asked me, had I prayed about it? I had to give an honest answer of no. No, I had NOT prayed about it. How could I forget to ask God if radiation was his will?
Her advice to me is to pray and seek God's will. Read his word and wait for him to answer, does he want me to do it, and if so, where and with what doc? This is what I am doing now. Fear is not of God, I know that. But this is so touchy with this cancer. First the doc says I don't need it, then he says I do. I'm on the edge of needing it and not needing it. I could be healed, but then again, it may come back. Doc says, better to over treat then under treat, which I guess I agree with except for the facts that I will have life long side effects from this radiation. But side effects are better then death right?
But then again, Mary reminded me, God is bigger then the cancer.  So that is what I am doing right now, praying, and waiting for him to answer, or give me peace about doing it or not doing it.
Today I have been trying to reach a girl at the medical college of Wisconsin for a consult there, she never answers her phone, and I've left a few messages. Wonder if that's a sign not to bother going there? lol.
If you would, pray for answers for us. That we would hear God's will loud and clear and know what to do, and whatever the decision, to have peace about it. Because like my brother said, God doesn't make mistakes!

love you!

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