About You

You are LOVED by God. There is nothing you can do, or can't do to make him love you more or less. He loves you because he loves you. Because you are His child.

More then your past
Worth it
A treasure
You matter.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Trusting in him.

I am just amazed by God and what he's been teaching me lately. I tell you, this cancer has been more of a blessing then anything. I can't even believe I wrote that. I really can't. The thing I feared since I lost my mom to it at age 11, I feel blessed to have gotten it. Sounds absurd doesn't it?
Whatever day that was that my doctor called me and told me about this spot on my liver, I think it was Monday? I thought, oh great, I now have an entire week to worry myself and think about yet another thing they could find on my PET scan on Monday. But just the opposite has happened this week. God has given me peace, and is growing me in my faith in him.  I have hardly worried at all this week. I have not searched the Internet on liver spots, I have not even looked at the radiologist report that I have to take with me to mayo. I have done what his word told me to do, keep my eyes on him. Every single day this week he has given me something, either in his word, (the bible) , my daily calender, or my books, he's given me something every single day about not worrying. It's simply amazing! God is so near, so close, it's like he's standing right here rubbing my back like my husband does saying, no fear babe, I'm right here.  I know how much God loves me. I also know that he loves Kevin and my kids as much as he loves me, and more then I love them. Hard to wrap my brain around that, that he loves my kids more then I do. But he does. So whatever God has
 for me, it's out of love.  Obviously I still pray and ask for prayer that the spot on the liver is nothing, and my regular scan on my head and neck is clean. Yes I sure do want to be cancer free and live and see my kids grow up and be a grandma and grow old with Kevin, you bet I do. I want to mark off on my calender, 9 months, Cancer FREE! Whoo hooo. That's my plan when I get home next Tuesday. I pray that's God's plan too. But if it isn't, I trust him.  He has shown me this week how involved he is, how close he is, the stuff I read is no coincidence, it's all him!
Yesterday my daily calender said, " Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you." Right out of the bible. 1 Peter 5:7.
Today, my devotion book said this~ "REFUSE TO WORRY! In this world there will always be something enticing you to worry. The best defense is continual communication with Me, richly seasoned with Thanksgiving. Awareness of my presence fills your mind with light and peace, leaving no room for fear. This awareness lifts you up above your circumstances, enabling you to see problems from My perspective. Live close to Me! Together we can keep the wolves of worry at bay." 

Coincidence? No way.
How about opening my bible this morning to Luke 12, and seeing something I already highlighted in the past in my commentary, that says, " Jesus commands us not to worry" Comes from Like 12:22. and it says, Overcoming worry requires ~ Simple trust in God, your heavenly father.   Ok, Abba thank you for speaking to me, every single day this week about fear! 

One more thing I must share. This week I was at Walmart with the kids, we were walking past the book section, and I picked up this Joyce Meyers book that I had looked at before, called Power Thoughts. I looked at it and thought, " I should buy this", but then though, Nah, I'll just read the books I have! I put it back.
Yesterday, I was looking in a cabinet that I don't open everyday, and what is there? The Joyce Meyers book! lol.  Obviously I had bought it in the past, tucked it away and forgot I bought it! How funny is that! So while eating my breakfast this morning I opened it up to Power thought number three~ I will not live in fear. :)
Hello Jesus.  :)
She says, there are more types of fear then we can name or count, but they all have the same source and purpose,, they are ALL from the enemy and they are intended to steal the life Jesus died to give us! Stupid Satan!
She says, it's the devils tool to keep us miserable and out of the will of God.

This makes so much sense to me, there's so much truth in it! This week could have been and still could be absolutely miserable for me, I know this because I've done it in the past! I could have spent this entire week sick about what the results could show next Monday, dwelling on it all day long. I would not have enjoyed my kids this week, or enjoyed going out to dinner for Gracie's birthday, and I probably wouldn't enjoy the weekend either. But Thanks be to God, he has given me faith, and trust in him. He has showed me how to hand it over to him and not fear. Thank you God.
So having had cancer in the past, has taught me so many things. How to really appreciate being alive, every single day. How to really love and care for people, (no I'm not perfect, but much better!) He's taught me how every little thing is a gift from him, and how to trust him and have faith in him, how close he is to me, and how involved he is in my life.  My most dreaded fear come true has been a blessing in disguise. Gives me the goose bumps just writing that.
I have more this week, things he's given me about eating and being obedient too, but I don't think Gracie is going to give me anymore time to write about that, but for my bible study girls, I will be sure to try and get back on here and do that later.
To a fear free, trusting in him day. 

1 comment:

Robert said...

Amy God woke me on Tuesday morning and laid on my heart that Satan was putting fear in your heart to take away your focus on God! Amen that my prayers yours and others were answered! We all love you!!!