Today I got in to see my ENT in Waukesha, the one I started with, who found my cancer and took my tonsils out. It was good to see him again. I haven't seen him since I had my surgery at Mayo.
He did freeze my nose and scope with the camera down my throat and said there was no active bleeding. He said he did see a spot that almost looks bruised! Obviously he can't tell me for sure that the bleeding won't happen again, but as of today, it looks OK in there. Praise the Lord. He said he looked over my paperwork from Mayo, and said I should go to my follow up there on the 8th, but after that I should be able to just come to him. He said they can do swallow studies here if they don't take my tube out on the 8th, so that is good news too. I pray they take it out on the 8th, but if they don't, at least I know I won't have to make that 5 hour drive again!! He said the reports from my surgery look good, and he's going to bring it to his next tumor board in the beginning of July with the two oncology docs and see what they say about radiation. I'm a tad worried about this, he did say I shouldn't need it, but we'll see what they come up with together. The mayo doc told me before my surgery that if it was only that one lymph node involved that i would be done. It was only that one lymph node. But when we were there last week, I said, "Are you sure I don't need radiation?" and he said, " I think you should meet with one just so you know all your options" I said, " If it were you, would you get the radiation?" He said, "no". But he still wants me to meet with one. I'm sure it's partly his butt he needs to cover, but I sure don't want this cancer to come back either. So we'll see what my doc out here and their tumor board come up with when they look at my pathology slides and reports from mayo. I'm praying they say I'm done! So, as of now, I just have to chill as best as I can, relax in my chair and try to do nothing that could cause bleeding. It is super hard for me to do this! I just want to throw laundry in, and make some beds, and pick up my kids and squeeze them!! I want to help around the house. It's really hard to watch my friends taking care of everything and I just sit here! But the fear of bleeding is sure helping me to do nothing. I miss talking so much. I love chatting with my friends and family when they are here, now I just have to be quiet. It's SO hard!!!
I feel blessed that I have made it all Sunday and so far today with no bleeding.
I am feeling super blessed by all the help I am receiving. My dad has been amazing. Just simply amazing. He is here for me, no matter what I need. He is such a comfort to me.
I don't know if I already posted this, but when he took me to mayo, we had to stop so I could eat. We stopped at a rest stop, and my bag that my food hangs in has to be hanging up higher then me so it flows down into my tube. There was no where to hang it at the rest stop, so my dad stood above me and HELD the bag for a 1/2 hour!! He just amazes me the things he will do for me and not complain. My husband slept in a chair next to me at the hospital two nights in a row and held my hand the entire time. My sister has spent the last two nights sleeping here on my couch, just to be a comfort to me, in case I start bleeding I know she's here to get me to the hospital. How many sisters would do that? She has a husband and a dog she'd like to be home with, but she is sacrificing for me, just because she loves me. I always knew these people loved me, the extent of their love overwhelms me when I think about what they are doing.
My friend Mary from church has organized all the people that come over during the week to help watch my kids, bring meals and clean my house, and she has come herself to watch my kids and bring meals. Another amazing women. She will call and pray with me when I need it. God has just given me everything I need to make it through this.
I would never make it through something like this without Jesus and my faith, and my church family. My church is what a church is supposed to be. They ARE the church, and they love each other and take care of each other. Not something I ever experienced before. If you don't know Jesus, I suggest you seek after him. Get a bible, find someone who does know him and ask questions. If you don't have a church family, find one. Be a part of the church, be a part of God's hands and feet. It will change your life. I don't mean just finding a church and showing up on Sundays, but finding Jesus. Getting to know him, and how much he loves you. Get to know people at the church, serve at the church, love and be loved. OK, I'll step down from the soap box now, I don't know how I got on such a roll here, it was supposed to be a short update. lol.
Thank you all for praying, he's listening.
love you.
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