About You

You are LOVED by God. There is nothing you can do, or can't do to make him love you more or less. He loves you because he loves you. Because you are His child.

More then your past
Worth it
A treasure
You matter.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Moving forward....

I finally have some time to sit down and write. The kids are still awake and Autumn is in here coloring and talking to me so hopefully I won't skip around too much!
Yesterday I had my PET scan. That was an interesting experience. I have had a few appointments already at the new Aurora hospital and it's really nice, so I was expecting this to be a fairly pleasant experience. I brought a bible and an encouraging book along for Kevin to have something to do for 2 hours while I was doing the scan.  When she came to get me, I left him with the bible, book and my cell phone.
She walked me down a long hall, then to a semi-trailer. That's right. A semi-trailer. My PET scan was in a semi trailer! lol. Brand new hospital but they don't have their own PET scan machine so I guess they have this trailer drive up every Monday and they use this rented machine. How weird! So she sits me in a chair puts my IV in, injects me with the radioactive fluid and tells me i am going to sit in this chair for an hour. I asked where are the magazines to read, she said, "There are none. The best test is if you sit here and do nothing". Oh fabulous. I get to sit in this chair, in a trailer, with nothing to look at for an hour?? Actually it wasn't that bad. I watched her clean the trailer with wipes while I  waited for my body to absorb the goodies that would eventually cluster where there might be cancer in my body.
They did my top part of my body first, and right when she was bringing me out to turn me around to do the bottom half of my body, the old song, "Amy" came on the radio,. Made me smile. Singing in my head, "Aaaaammmmy, whatchyou gonna do? I think I can stay with you, for a while, maybe longer if I doooooo....." I'm pretty sure I was smiling when she pulled me out, she probably thought I was nuts. 
Anyway, we met with the doctor right after the appointment.  He seems like a very knowledgeable guy, seems to know his stuff. He looked in my mouth, up my nose, in my ears, did a lot of poking around, then went over the PET scans with us. Obviously he is not a radiologist, so he was only going by what he could see in the pictures. He was very patient with my questions and answered everything in great detail. 
This morning he called with the dictation from the radiologist. So the results came back high intake in the right tonsil, a little in the left, and high intake in the lymph node where my lump is. (Frank that is)
The plan right now is that tomorrow (Wed) he is removing my tonsils, while I am still asleep they get frozen and checked if they are indeed cancer. If they are, then he's pretty sure that is the source  of where it came from and will not take any other biopsies in my neck, which was what his original plan was.  He said if he sees anything suspicious looking, he will biopsy that also. So then, they will send my tonsils off to a pathologist for them to figure out if they are cancer, and what kind of cancer  it is. That will take 3 to 4 days. ( more waiting, I am learning some serious patience here) Then they will have a "tumor board meeting" where a bunch of them, like the pathologist, oncologist, surgeon, and whoever else get together and discuss my treatment plan. He said that "typically" they would do radiation on the lump site, but sometimes it may require chemotherapy , or surgery. So at this point, I'm pretty clueless what my treatment plan is going to be. Honestly, I am still counting on God to do something big like, oh maybe they go in and there is no cancer and the doctors are just baffled at how that can be. :)
Tonight we had community group at our house, for the first time. Our little church is growing and we are now hosting a group at our house, which I love! It was a real blessing to have them here tonight, the night before my surgery. I was totally blessed by them praying for not only me, but my husband and my kids and even my dad. It was touching. Lots of tears. The love and passion of these people just simply amazes me. 
One of the questions that was asked was what keeps us going in our faith, even through trials, and one thing that stuck out in my mind was how God is carrying me through this. He has allowed this trail in our life, but he simply picked me up and is carrying me through it. Giving me comfort and peace that I can't even believe I have. Last week a friend sent me a picture with the footprints saying on it. When I though tonight about how he is carrying me, it reminded me of that. One set of footprints. Not because he left me alone in this trail, but because he picked me up and carried me!! It only makes me love God more. He is amazing. So loving. He cares about me so much that he gives me peace in a time that I thought would be the scariest time of my life. The thing that I have feared since age 11 when my mom died, is no longer a fear anymore. He is showing me how much he loves me.  I never in a million years thought I would be able to say that God blessed me by allowing me to have cancer. wow.

Praising God for lots of things tonight. 

O LORD, you are my God;

       for in perfect faithfulness
       you have done marvelous things,
       things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:1         


Kristin said...

Amy. I've been praying for you a lot. You know that we have talked some about our similar fears and it is VERY encouraging to me to see how God is carrying you through this. Amazing how God uses our exact fear, to take fear away. It almost doesn't make any sense..but yet it makes perfect sense!!

Jacqui said...


I wish I didn't have to read your blog as you did mine. I see alot of similarities in your writings. Like how the songs at the school concert were aimed at YOU, how the sermon is aimed at YOU.... it is amazing isn't it????? Everything you see and hear takes on a deeper new meaning after you find out you have the "C" word.

God is looking after you and has a plan.I couldn't see it when I was in the midst of it, and it will take you a little while to see it too. But I want you to know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel you are in. Don't lose sight of that and forget it. It will get better, and you will have "Funk" days. It's expected & it's OK. Don't feel like you have to put on a happy face ALL the time.Everyone understands, really they do

I am praying for you soooo much I can't even tell you. I want to be here for you in any way to support you. Sarah was a great support for me, and I thank you for that & I hope I can return the favor.

Please let me know if there is anyone organizing dinners for your family. I would love to help you with that. It is a great burnden to be taken off your shoulders.

Hang in there Amy! Please call me if you nedd to talk to someone who "gets it" .