About You

You are LOVED by God. There is nothing you can do, or can't do to make him love you more or less. He loves you because he loves you. Because you are His child.

More then your past
Worth it
A treasure
You matter.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


I am honestly just amazed by God right now at the peace I have. I know it's him. I know it's all the people that are praying for our family right now. I feel it.
I have never quite understood the passage,  Philippians 4:7 ~ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Now, I understand it.  I have it. How can I have peace just being diagnosed with cancer, and still in the unknown about where the cancer is, how much of it there is, what I will be going through in the weeks and months to come? The ONLY answer is Jesus. Sweet Jesus. Thank you.

That verse has a whole new meaning to me these days.

Don't get me wrong, I am upset. I did have a really good let it all out cry this morning in the shower with the music on nice and loud. I am not by any means happy that I have cancer.  But I have peace about it, which is just, wow. Amazing.

Yesterday I mentioned that this has always been a big fear of mine, having cancer. Because I lost my mom to it, every time I'd get sick, I'd think, "oh no, i hope it's not cancer!"  I was telling my husband this morning that I've always prayed that I would never get cancer. That I would live to be a grandma.
I recall prayers in the last year, Telling God, " God I want to be closer to you, I want to know you more, I want to love you more, please bring me closer to you, BUT not through cancer! don't let anyone in my family get cancer" I was putting conditions on how he was going to bring me closer to him. 
A dear friend of mine sent me a message yesterday saying this ~  
"I read your blog today, and the part where you said you have always prayed to never get cancer has really struck me. It's like God wants you to get closer to Him in a way that no other journey except through your darkest fear would provide."

Wow. How profound. Really makes me ponder. Why? Why did he allow this in my life? Not having the pity party saying, "oh why me?" but, really, what is the reason he allowed it? I may never know. I do know however that he will be glorified through it, and hopefully whatever I go through will bring someone else to Christ.

I had another friend write something that was even more profound, it was this ~

"Dearest Amy
You have been found worthy to have your faith tested in a profound way.  What a noble calling. 
May you sincerely find that peace which surpasses all understanding in knowing God has plans for this and will never give us more than we could bare.  You will be closer to God and Jesus than ever before." 

There's a doosey. Is that how you spell that? Doozey? lol. Anyway, she thinks God finds ME worthy? Me?? 
Wow. Thanks God is kinda what I want to say. Actually, no thanks, I'll pass on the cancer thing, can we try something else? 
But I guess this is what God has chosen for me.  I'm going to stand on his promises that he is here for me. Holding my hand.

I printed off some verses for hubby and me that I'm going to carry around. When the devil wants to attack our minds, we can read this, and remember who our God is. Who our Rock is. Who's arms we can run to.

9 I have called you back from the ends of the earth,
      saying, ‘You are my servant.’
   For I have chosen you
      and will not throw you away.
 10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
      Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
   I will strengthen you and help you.
      I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
 11 “See, all your angry enemies lie there,
      confused and humiliated.
   Anyone who opposes you will die
      and come to nothing.
 12 You will look in vain
      for those who tried to conquer you.
   Those who attack you
      will come to nothing.
 13 For I hold you by your right hand—
      I, the Lord your God.
   And I say to you,
      ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

Isaiah 41:9-13 (New Living Translation)

1 comment:

debbie g said...

Yes, Amy, yes. If there is a "right way" to do this, you are doing it. I love that you are keeping your sense of humor too...life,no matter how rough, is better with a giggle.