God at work

Yep, I'm quite sure now that God took his help away from me for awhile to keep me from being prideful. The more I think about it, I actually asked for this. Last week I could feel myself getting prideful about my eating. That I was able to have hate for sin (another thing I prayed and asked for was a hate for sin) He gave that to me, but he gave it to me to use for myself and to make ME a better person. Well last week I started thinking, why doesn't everyone do this? Why does ANYONE over eat who is a Christian? I had the nerve to "check" my husbands sin and forget the plank in my own eye as the bible says. But I caught myself thinking that way about someone at church last week. Thinking why don't they care that they are sinning? Why don't they use their strength in Christ and stop sinning? I asked God, please don't let me think that way. I know I shouldn't judge, and I don't want to be prideful. He answered. He was helping me before. Giving me the strength to resist food when I wasn't hungry. He was helping me to not think about food so much when I'm not supposed to be eating,HE changed my heart to not want to sin, but he quickly took that away from me when I became prideful about it. Because it wasn't me that was able to resist temptation on my own, he was helping. So now I know, when I see other people sinning, worry about myself. They are most likely working on some other issue that I have no idea about. Maybe God is not ready to work on the sin of over eating in there life at this time. Maybe it's not on that person's heart to work on that particular sin, but something else is, it's not for me to worry about and I'm no one to say if I can do this why can't everyone? Because I myself can't, and God just showed me that. He's teaching me. I'm learning slowly but surely. But in all reality, he convicted me when I was having the thoughts, I prayed and asked not to think that way, and he answered! Pretty amazing how he works, and how he's so close in our lives and our thoughts. Now that I'm humbled and my pride is gone, I pray that he will show me his grace once again and help me with my eating. :)

Being humbled?

I could be wrong but I think God is trying to humble me. Maybe I was getting to prideful when it came to my eating and my attitude about other people sinning.

Last Saturday I made a comment during our bible study that if people know they are sinning, why do they continue to do it?

I got upset with my husband this week for eating at night in front of me, and asked him if he was hungry! I also asked him if he didn't' care that he was sinning and why he was eating when he wasn't hungry. I didn't understand. I think that was Sunday night, and Tuesday morning the girl scout cookies arrived. With the good Lords help I was doing really well with my eating. I had done the "radical amputation" of most sweets in my life that would cause me to over eat and were idols to me. I was doing well at only eating when i was actually hungry and must have gotten to proud in thinking that it was ME doing it? Since the girl scout cookies arrived I have given in to temptation. I have lost control that I thought I had on my sin. I am eating something that I had given up. I am eating them when I'm hungry and when I'm not hungry. Is my conscience telling me not to eat them? sort of. Do I feel guilty about it? Not like I should. I don't feel as strong or convicted about sin as I did just days ago. Is God humbling me? I'm not sure. But I'm getting on my knees and asking this be taken from me. I am weak.

Middle school baptisms

My heart is so touched working with the middle schoolers that we have over 40 kids that have decided to get baptized in the coming months. I have to steal this video and share it because it is such an awesome, amazing thing to see these kids tell their stories and be baptized.

Baptisms....

A verse worth repeating

It seems God is trying to get a verse through my head. I'm not really sure why, but there must be a reason. I was doing my homework for my bible study this morning and in the chapter I'm reading she brings up the verse. Then again, reading my email, my Daily devotion had the same exact verse. Here it is...

2 Peter 1:3-4

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Pretty powerful verses there. I think I have already come to that realization in the last few months, that I already have his power in me to follow Christ and do what he tells me to do.

Maybe there's other things in my life that I am not seeing yet that he wants me to use this power for. Something I will have to pray about.

I have been finding myself feeling frustrated lately that I've been going to church for 5 years and am just now understanding how much God hates sin, how much he loves us, that we are not supposed to go on sinning when we are Christians, and that he gave us the power to do this. Why didn't I know this sooner? I know everyone learns things in their own time, or in God's time, or sometimes our eyes are not open to things the first few times we hear them, I understand that. I also understand that it's our job to read the bible, seek God, pray, and work on our relationship with him, but simple straight forward things like, God HATES sin, and that he gives Christians the power to not sin should be some of the bigger things that we learn at church. (Please note, I am NOT bashing my church, or my pastor. I really enjoy my church!) I wonder how many Christians that attend church know these things? How many people at church are actually following Christ and are living like a new creature after they are saved? How many change their ways? Or just go to church on Sunday but keep living the rest of the week the exact way they did before? I'd say for the past 5 years, for the most part, I didn't change a whole lot about the way I lived my life until the last few months when I really gave my life to Christ. Now I feel the need to be baptized again. Not that I NEED to per say, but because this time I am really giving my life to Christ. I am REALLY a born again Christian and I'd like to share that with other people. I don't know why it upsets me. I am very glad that my eyes have been open to God's truth, and I know the one true God now, but why did it have to take 5 years of going to church to know these things? Now that I've gotten on a soap box here I better step down and go tell God that I am thankful that he is so close to me, and cares so much for me that my eyes are finally open. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Pondering Exodus

I am slipping behind on my daily reading in the chronological bible.

I was originally only a few days behind, but I seem to have gotten "stuck" but stuck in a good way on Feb 4th, 5th, and 6th. I am finding it very interesting to read about Moses and his story about leading the Israelites out of Egypt. I feel the need to take notes, and go make markings in my other bible. I have heard stories about Moses before, being the baby put in the basket to save his life, and the burning bush, but don't remember ever reading in detail like this. It's a really cool story.

I think it's neat how God went ahead of them, he led them with a pillar of a cloud, and then at night he provided light with a pillar of fire. How neat is that? I know that God is still going "ahead" of me, and he is leading me just as he lead them,(when I follow of course!) but it sure would be nice if he'd show me the way as clearly as he showed the Israelites! Sometimes I make wrong turns, start straying off in the wrong direction, or it just takes me awhile to figure out where I am supposed to be going, and if I just had that cloud or flame to show me the way to go things would be so much easier!

I also can totally relate to Moses. When God first told him to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let the people go, Moses didn't want to do it! He said, "Who am I that Pharaoh is going to listen to me?" I feel that way sometimes too! I am too weak, I'm nobody! I can't! I don't want to listen!

There was a lot of things that intrigued me in these readings with Moses and the Pharoah. How God would send different plagues to get Pharoah to say OK to letting the Israelites go, but then when God would take the plague away he would harden Pharoah's heart again and he would take back what he said and not let the people go, then again God would send another plague on the people and the cycle would go all over again. I think it was interesting that God would harden Pharoah's heart, so he could show the people who he was.(that he was their Lord)

Then in time, he parted the red sea and brought all the Israelites out of Egypt just as he had promised he would. He set them free from slavery! I related that to God setting me free from the slavery of food, from being in bondage to Idols.

There was something that made me think though. After Moses had led them out of Egypt, the Lord told them he wanted them to OBEY his commands, and if they did, he wouldn't make them suffer diseases that he sent on the Egyptians. I guess this is something that I never thought about before. God sent diseases? Because they didn't obey. This got me thinking about God and sin. Isn't God still the same God that was in the old testament? The same God that hated sin?? I don't think he punishes us now when we sin because Jesus died to save us from our sins, but doesn't he still HATE sin as much as he did in the old testament? I don't know why these things roll around in my brain and bother me but they do.So what does that mean if God still hates sin? What does it mean if we are Christians and we know God hates sin but yet we still keep on sinning doing things that we could stop doing? Of course we can't be perfect, but what if we know that something is a sin, and we could stop but we choose not to? That's what I want to know. Does he still punish? Or does it just make him sad? Does anyone really even know that answer?

One more thing I'd like to remember was when the Amalekites attack the people of Israel, and as long as Moses held up that staff pointing it toward God Joshua would have the advantage against the Amalekites, but the min he would drop it or bring it down, they would start taking the lead. So when Moses arm got too tired, Aaron and Hur held up Moses arms to keep the staff up and they won the fight. That's neat. Reminds me to keep my eyes and heart focused on God, not myself, and things are better, easier, and I have more strength.

Credit cards are EVIL........:)

Today was the "big day". I gave my credit cards to Kevin to do as he pleases w/them. I told him if he will be cutting them up I'd like to be a part of it.

We started Financial Peace at church the beginning of Jan. This is all part of God's plan for me to be out w/the old person and in w/the new person. God has been working on me TONS in the past few months concerning self discipline, greed, selfishness. Oh just lots of stuff!

In the beginning, it was mostly conviction about food and gluttony, but soon it was also about spending money.

Anyway, the Financial peace class is good. I am actually enjoying it, (who would have thought?) Kevin is absolutely the "nerd" of our marriage and I am the "free spirit". Especially when it comes to money. Thankfully we don't have any debt except our house to get rid of, but if I continued being the free spirit that I am we'd eventually end up with Debt and I'd end up to weigh 300 pounds so God said enough is enough and the conviction came through loud and clear!

So Dave Ramsey talks about how we shouldn't use credit cards, even if you don't have debt, and that people spend 18% more money when they use a credit card then if they'd use cash because you see the cash going out of your hand and that hurts. I use our credit card for EVERYTHING. I hardly ever had money in my wallet. That's just the way it's been since we've been married. It started that way because Kevin liked getting the points on the credit card, then just became habit to me. The only problem is that when I use a credit card, I use it too freely! Because I can't see the money I'm spending, don't keep track, then spend too much. So we've been figuring out the budget this past week, and getting ready to use the envelope system. So tonight I asked him which credit cards he wanted to cut up and he said, "oh,let's start with Kohl's and Target." Of course, my two very favorite stores! lol. I gave him all my cards. The strange thing is, it didn't even bother me! Which is a complete first! I used to feel very strongly about not giving those cards up. Now I don't. Obviously that's God's doing. He's worked in my heart something big. Dave Ramsey also talks about how we shouldn't have car payments. Well, we don't. But I also drive an old van that I don't exactly love. BUT, now I can understand WHY Kevin has always paid cash for cars and didn't want car payments. It's starting to make sense now. God continues to amaze me at how he is working in my life, and helping me through the things that I have to change. Yes, I liked my credit cards. But I'd rather make God happy and be a good steward with my money. ( I'm sure it won't hurt our marriage either!) I feel blessed that God loves me enough to care about the little things in our life. That I'm important enough for God to start peeling away the bad things from me and making me more like his son. It's pretty awesome. So Good bye credit cards. Good bye "old Amy" and hello "new self disciplined Amy" who enjoys living for Christ!