About You

You are LOVED by God. There is nothing you can do, or can't do to make him love you more or less. He loves you because he loves you. Because you are His child.

More then your past
Worth it
A treasure
You matter.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Celebration dinner

Ok.........Just a few more pics, these are of our dinner tonight.  :)

 Once again, Gracie has had it. lol.

Picture memories from a year ago........

Butterflies we grew at home and had to let go before we left for Minnesota.

 At Uncle Glenn's in Minnesota, week of surgery.

Mayo clinic.

 My scar.

Family and freinds ~ helping out during recovery. :)

Wiped out from it all.  ;)

One year cancer free.

Today was a day of celebration at our house. We actually went out to eat as a family, (which is a rare occurrence with my frugal husband) :)

But it was really nice to go out and celebrate my healing as a family. I think I may even have ice cream tonight after a month of no sugar! :)
I've had many flashbacks today of a what I endured last year on this date.
But God brought us through it, and now with more trust, faith, and love for our Lord Jesus.
This morning God put a smile on my face right after I woke up. I went to my daily calender and flipped to June 10th, and this is what it said~

I am the Lord who heals you.
Exodus 15:26

Oh how beautiful those words were to me this morning. If only I had been home last June 10th to see what my calender said.
I praise God for his healing. For allowing Dr. Moore to heal me with his hands. I praise him for another year of life, and hopefully many more to come.

I was thinking back to the day of my surgery, Up at Mayo hospital in Minnesota, a strange place to us, and when they took me from my husband to walk me downstairs for surgery. Kevin couldn't come with me. So we parted ways. I was scared. I wrote about this in my blog, here is the  link, but I just remember them putting me in this bed, in this big hallway, all these people were lined up in beds, waiting for surgery, only separated by curtains. It was weird! I was so riddled with anxiety in that bed waiting for surgery. I wanted my husband with me. I was so anxious they felt sorry for me and tried to call Kevin, but he had already left, probably went to eat breakfast or something. But today, As I read my devotional book for June 10th, It is written as though Jesus is speaking to you, and it says~

"As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of MY presence with you".

Oh how I wish I would have had that devotional book with me that morning, while waiting there to have surgery.

How amazing how both my calender and my devotional book both relate to my circumstance today. How amazing is our God? Every little detail he works out.

I can't say that if I had to go through that all over again I wouldn't be scared, but after what he has brought me through this past year, I have so much more trust in him.

As I waited for surgery a year ago, I should have thought about God being right there with me, holding my hand in his, because He was with me.

This was a year of many trials for me, with follow ups every three months, and all the pains that go along with a having a neck dissection surgery, which of course every pain I get, I think, Oh no, is it the cancer back? Then I have to get out God's word and stop myself from worrying. It's such a waste of time, and as I shared in one of my last posts, "God's got this"
Today I celebrate another year of life without cancer, On Tuesday I go back to mayo for a follow up. This time, with no PET scan. I am trusting God with the results of that follow up.

I looked at my kids today in a different way, thankful that I am able to be here and be their mom.

I looked at the day as a blessing. I look at swallowing and eating as a blessing.

Kevin reminded me tonight of my four ambulance rides last summer from bleeding, and he pointed out the chair I sat in for a few months where my pole sat beside the chair, where I hung my food bags for my feeding tube. All very unpleasant memories. But those unpleasant memories bring joy and beauty that today there is no ambulance rides, there is no bleeding, there is no feeding tube attached to my face. There is health, and happiness, and blessings. We have grown as a family because of it, and became closer because of it, and God has been so faithful to us. Today, a year later I can rejoice in things that I didn't find worthy of rejoicing of before cancer.

God is good. All the time. Even when he doesn't answer prayers. I prayed that it wasn't cancer, and it was. But you know, God brought blessing after blessing from that cancer. He brought us to a wonderful church family, who took care of us like family after my surgery, for two months we had someone here every single day taking care of our family. I had a sister that slept on my couch, and sacrificed her comfort and sleep, just in case I started bleeding. I had a friend who gave up many many days of her summer to be here taking care of us. I had a husband who was there for every little need I had, even just when I felt scared I could wake him and he'd sit with me and calm me down. Just blessing after blessing after blessing. I could see Jesus all over the place.

He didn't leave me to fend for myself with the cancer. He was there. Just as he is today, right here, still, holding my hand, and rejoicing with me that I am still here today.
God is so good. I don't know how I could have made it through this without him.

I think I'll go have some ice cream with my kids.

Blessed be the name of the Lord. My healer.

Me.   1 year anniversay cancer free.

 My scar one year ago.
My beautiful scar and testimony of a loving faithful, healing God.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Trust In Jesus

Trust in Jesus

My great Deliverer

My strong Defender

The Son of God

I trust in Jesus

Blessed Redeemer

My Lord forever

The Holy One, the Holy One

"He's got this"

I wrote some yesterday on how our Pastor talked about Jesus and how we don't live in the power that is available to us as Christians.
He also talked about God's sovereignty, and how God is sovereign over ALL things.  What I loved was how Tommy said, "He's got this". God's got this, he knows what he's doing with this world, we don't have to worry, or give God advice, He's got it. We may not like the way God rolls, or how he does things, most of the time our small human minds just can't comprehend God's ways. We don't understand why their is sickness, cancer, tragedies, we don't understand, but regardless if we understand or not, he's in control. He's got this. :)

I have this image in my mind of God sitting on his throne, and Jesus beside him on his throne. It's a humbling thought.
I always knew God was in charge of things, but I tend to "forget" how in charge he is.
After my cancer, I thought, I better "take charge" of my health here. I did not do a very good job in the past so I better start doing what I can to keep myself alive. Ha! What was I thinking?
I am not saying we shouldn't take care of ourselves, by all means, we are commanded to take care of these bodies!! Keep them healthy and functioning well so we can serve the Lord!! So yes, we should exercise, and yes we should eat right, and take some supplements, Just do things to keep the body running well and keep us feeling well so we can serve him,  but WE are not going to to keep us alive.
I was humbled, brought to my knees (actually my face) in the past few weeks with how in charge God is.
As I wrote about yesterday  my friend Sarah was re-diagnosed with cancer. Sarah took good care of herself and her family. She did everything a person could to take care of her body, and yet, her cancer came back.
All I could think was, " God is on his throne". He's in charge.  Sarah did was she was supposed to do, she took care of her body, but it's still God's decision what happens with her body.  I am believing for Sarah that God has "got this" . I am believing that he knows what he's doing with this, even though I absolutely hate the fact that my friend and her family are going through this again.
HE is in charge.
He's in charge in the big things, like our health and life, and the little details of how we live our lives, if we let him.
I've been being convicted about our giving to the church for a good few months. One night our ladies bible study just spent the night praying over the church, and the biggest burden God laid on my heart that night was my pastor and his family, and the finances of the church. It has never left my mind. This past Sunday Tommy spoke of how our church was short money the past month, and that his family ends up sacrificing for that.  This simply brought me to tears.  This shouldn't be.  Our pastor never, ever talks about giving money. Never. So please don't get the wrong idea of that. Our church is small, and God expects us to give. After all it's his money in the first place.  I've been struggling with this in my mind for the last month or so how we can give more. Do we sell our house? Because honestly, does a Christian family need this size of house? Do we share the house with others? Do I get a job? Since Sunday, my mind has been racing even more, more like fretting about it. I'm trying to think of what we need to do to "fix" this situation.
This morning I pull out the daily devotional once again, and God speaks. ( I know, surprise surprise) I'm  actually going to give you the kids version of the devotional cause it's easy to understand and to the point, here it is~


But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. 
Luke 12:31
I am all around you. Even when you don't notice me, I am here.
You may not notice Me because your mind is tied up with other things.  Like WORRY. Alot of people believe that worry is just a part of life. But they are wrong. Worry is actually a kind of unbelief, (ouch) Worrying says you don't believe I am big enough to take care of whatever it is that upsets you so much. Worrying says you think I need your help.
Wrong! I am big enough. I am strong enough. I love you enough. Bring your problems to Me. You can trust Me to take care of you- and whatever you are worrying about!
Well then! God speaks!
Basically what this said to me was quit worrying and fretting over it, and pray to me!! Ask Me what you should do about your giving! Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten that huge part? Give it to the Lord and he will show us what to do! OK then! What a load off my back. " HE'S GOT IT!"
The devotional did also lead me to reading in Luke this morning and here is something the commentary says about money. It's something to think about.
It's from Verse 12:33-
Money seen as and end in itself quickly traps us and cuts us off from both God and the needy. The key to using money wisely is to see how much we can use for GOD'S PURPOSES, not how much we can accumulate for ourselves. Does God's love touch your wallet? Does your money free you to help others?? If so, you are storing up lasting treasures in heaven. If your financial goals and possessions hinder you from giving generously, loving others, or serving God, sell what you must to bring your life into line with his purposes.
Pretty heavy stuff this morning!!  I am not sure I can even sum it all up!
~God is in control. That's one important fact. He reigns. Someday every knee will bow to him.  Someday we will stand before him, or should I say get on our knees before him, or maybe even lay on our face before him. 
~ He is not only in control, and "has it" but he loves us so deeply. We sometimes can't see it, we don't "understand" why he allows things, but he loves his children. We are his adopted children, and he loves us so much.
~ We must remember to pray, to give things to him. He can handle what we can't. Instead of worrying, we need to pray, hand it over to him, and let him show us what to do.
~ We must remember that our money is his. It is to be used for the kingdom and glory of God. We are to use our money to help others. Live our lives to help and serve others. Be God's hands and feet. Show people Christ through our lives.
Have a blessed day. No worrying- pray!!

Monday, June 6, 2011


I've been wanting to blog about this for weeks!!! It's just so hard to get "quiet time" to actually sit and think and express my thoughts with kids running around, God is giving me much time this morning to write, thank you Lord!!
This realization of being an "over comer" is something God has been working on with me a lot lately. I think it all started with the bible study that I wanted to back out of called Craving God. It's a bible study about craving God instead of food all the time for comfort or whatever we tend to use food for. I know I blogged about it, once I started reading the book I wanted to quit the study but I couldn't cause I was the host of it at my house! lol.  I learned a lot through the study, but the one huge thing I didn't get from it was what I am about to share about us being over comers. That bible study was just a smidge of what God wanted to teach me.
The whole "over comer" thing started with our Easter sermon. What a fabulous sermon it was. Easter is all about Jesus rising from the dead. Our pastor explained how we celebrate Easter Sunday and tend to "look back" upon Christ rising from the dead as something that happened a long time ago, not for how it effects us TODAY.
It's not about what he "did" 2,000 years ago, but about the resurrection today. It's about something that is happening in my life TODAY
We receive what that resurrection gave, what the resurrection meant, we are given life.
Jesus is ALIVE. That which was dead is alive!
We are partakers in the resurrection, we get life from death.
We were dead in sin, but because of Jesus rising, we don't have to live that defeated life dead in sin.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,  Ephesians 2:1

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,

Ephesians 2:4-6

We need to yield ourselves to the resurrection power. We are set free by the power of the holy presence of God.
Because Jesus won a victory, we have been given victory too!! Jesus tells us to Stand Strong!!
We are over comers!

We need to believe in a RISEN savior, and live like he has risen!!  Jesus overcame the grave, and the power that rose Jesus from the dead lives in us who believe!! That's a pretty big power that we have living inside of us!

Some of Christians (myself included!) don't (or didn't) understand the power of the risen Christ. We live as though we are defeated, walking around chained to sin that we don't need to be chained to!
We act as if Christ is still laying in the grave! He is not!
Jesus is risen, ruling, glorifying, victorious KING!! He's sitting on the right hand of God, on his THRONE! We've lost sight to where Christ is NOW!
Yes it's good to think about how much he suffered, and was beaten and nailed to a cross, however, we need to remember that he is risen, and he was glorified after he was risen, he walked through walls!

I was one to walk around thinking I was defeated, that Satan had me trapped in my sin of over eating, of not having self control, that was a LIE!! In my own power I can't do it, but with  Jesus I CAN overcome sin. All of us who are believers have the holy spirit in us, God has already killed your sin, so you can stop staying chained to!! Throw it off!  How freeing is that??!!!

For my friend Sarah. xoxo

I want to dedicate this song to my friend Sarah today. There are so many songs that I hear during the day that make me think of you sweet friend!!
For those of you that read my blog and don't know my friend Sarah, she's a wonderful , sweet, strong women, a great supportive friend and encourager, and a sister in Christ.
She has been a great encourager to me this past year through my cancer diagnosis and healing and I love her to pieces.
Sarah was first diagnosed with Breast cancer at the age of 29. That was 3 years ago. She was just re diagnosed, the cancer has metastasized to her lung, lymph nodes, spine, and hip. Sarah is a mom to two, Maddie age 6 and Luke age 4. She's a wife to Steve.
Here is a link to her caringbridge site.
 It's devastating news to us all. But I am trusting in Jesus that he has this in his hands. I am trusting for healing for Sarah. We have a face book page for Sarah, that she named, "Well this sucks". lol. Here's a link to that.
Please keep Sarah and her family in your prayers. For peace during this time, comfort, ease from sickness from the chemo meds, and healing. I love you my friend.

"When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger"

"Try and do the best you can

Hold on and let Him hold your hand

And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus

Oh, lift your head it's gonna end

God's right there

Even when you just can't feel Him

I promise you that He still cares"

He not only still cares, he loves you deeply. Loves you and Steve and Maddie and Luke so much. No fear babes.

Sweet gifts

I just love spring, I honestly don't know why I stay living in Wisconsin. lol. I thrive off the warm weather.
I've been able to get back to my morning walks lately, It's just so much easier to get up and go for a walk when the sun is out and it's warm!! I really enjoy my walks in the morning.

The other day the dogs and I were heading up towards the front of the subdivision and the sun was just shining so bright already at 5:45am. Walking toward it, I could just feel the warmth of it on my face and just felt peace. I just thought in my head, " I just love the sun!! I just feel drawn to it, it makes me feel warm and good and content, just a peaceful comfortable feeling, and just as I had that thought, Jesus popped into my head. Jesus the SON, the light of the world. He brings me that same feeling! The feelings of peace, comfort, warmth, contentment. When I spend time with him, that's how I feel.

I had to laugh that morning at God, had he been walking with me in bodily form I probably would have gave him a punch in the arm. That's how God works sometimes. He wanted me to feel exactly what I felt that morning, enjoying the sun, and then he put that thought in my head, "Hey, the sun is just like ME!" "Hey Amy, what a coincidence that you feel warm and peaceful and happy from the son!" hee hee. I love God's sense of humor sometimes. So sweet.

This morning the dogs and I set out for our walk to some dark skies. Honestly this morning I was debating do I go or take a break today and just listen to a sermon and spend more time with God, I had my shoes on, then untied them, then thought, no I'll go and retied them. We didn't have a very long walk before it started to rain. But God accomplished what he wanted this morning. We walked to where we usually turn around and when I turned around, I looked up in the sky and what was there? A HUGE beautiful rainbow. I think I stopped breathing for a second. I just stood there in the road looking up and thanking God for that little gift he sent me this morning. He gave me the thought to "just go" for a walk, so he could show me his beauty and you know what the tops it all off is? My devotional this morning, I read it by the date, so for June 6th it says this~

"Seek my face, and you will find fulfillment of your deepest longings. My world is filled with beautiful things, they are meant to be pointers to ME, reminders of my abiding presence. The earth still declares my glory to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear."

He spoke through the sun, the rainbow, and my devotional, What an amazing God we have. I love when he orchestrates things like that. He's so involved in the little things if you just look for him. :)

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Psalm 19:1