I'm trying to piece things together this morning, I know God is trying to teach me something about having faith in him right now. The theme is coming up over and over in my morning bible readings, emails from friends, and Pastor Tommy's sermon.
As usual, I'm a bit slow to get what he's teaching me, it takes days of it for my brain to say, "Hey, I think God's trying to tell me something here", lol. Typical Amy. I was always a slow learner. lol.
I love how he doesn't give up though, he just keeps on keeping on with me till it clicks.
So last week, I had bible study with the girls on Thurs night. One of my sweet friends Nora noticed some "worry" in my eyes. The next day she emailed me. She said I was on her mind. (God again, just like when my pastor couldn't sleep until he emailed me) God was going through Nora to get to me. I had things in the back of my mind about my tooth pain being cancer. I was trying to push it out, but it wasn't working, the devil was flooding my mind with stupid thoughts. Nora encouraged me in her email reminding me of the story of Elijah, how he knew God well, he was a great prophet, and yet at one point, he lost his faith, got scared and ran away! But just like with me, God did not give up on Elijah, he pursued him, sent the angel of the Lord to talk with him. Just like God sends people to talk to me. So cool how God works like that. He spoke through Nora to give me some faith, to stop thinking negative about the pain, and think about Jesus and trust in him.
On Sunday I heard the most wonderful sermon, which of course was not prepared special for me, but sometimes it sure seems that way! Our Pastor was talking about Moses, and his great dependence on God, how he trusted God every step of the way. Tommy gave such great examples of Moses faith, like how God used the shepherd staff with Moses, and told him to throw the staff down on the ground and it turned into a snake, but when reading that we don't think of what may have been going through Moses mind, or what would be going through ours! Like when he threw the stick on the ground was he thinking, Is the stick going to do anything? What if I throw it down and it does nothing?? But Moses trusted in God when he told him to do it, and he did it. His faith was strong, and the stick turned into a snake. When Moses was leading the people out of Israel, and they were being chased by the Egyptian army, they came up against the sea, they thought they were trapped and were going to die, but God told Moses to raise the staff, and again, he trusted God, and raised the staff, and the sea separated! I don't do this any justice like my Pastor did, but the point was that Moses couldn't see ahead, he didn't know what was going to happen w/the staff, but he just went ahead in faith and did what God told him to do! I can totally see myself standing there w/the staff and God says throw it down, or raise it up and I'd stand there thinking well, what if it doesn't work? Is it really going to do something? What if I look like an idiot? I do that in my own life all the time! I am not trusting him, my faith is weak! That sermon hit me so much! Am I trusting God or am I doubting him every step of the way? He told me I didn't need radiation, so why am I not trusting in him that he healed me?! Duh!
This morning I was reading in Matthew again, and God fed thousands of people twice on a little amount of food, he made it "enough" to feed thousands. But yet the disciples just didn't get it. They were in the middle of these miracles and still not understanding the power of Jesus. Jesus even said them, "You of little faith!" The commentary says, "If you simply step forward in faith and believe, then you will begin to see the miracles that God can do with your life!" God also gave the disciples the authority to do healing in people, but there was a demon possessed boy that they couldn't heal, because they weren't believing in Jesus power. Again, Jesus said to them, "Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can stay to this mountain move from here to there and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you". Jesus was trying to encourage them to greater faith, just as he is doing with me.
My commentary says if we feel weak or powerless as Christians, we should examine our faith, making sure we are trusting in GOD'S abilities not our own. That is one example of where I have been failing in my faith. I was trusting in only what the doctors did to remove my cancer, but God is bigger then that! I can have faith that God has healed me, if he hadn't he wouldn't have given Kevin and I peace about not doing radiation. I need to trust in him, my faith needs to be stronger in the Lord. I love how his word comes alive and pertains to my life when I actually take time to read it and let God speak to me. His word is living and active, sounds kooky but it's so true! People wonder, how can I hear God? How does he "talk" to us. Take some quiet time and read the bible and he will speak to you. God is so amazing. I love my time with him in the morning. I think I have rambled on long enough and Gracie is awake now and needs some attention.
Faith like a mustard seed is what we need.
Matthew 17:20.
love you!
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