Uncommon Vessels

I was reading this book this morning and it had a lot of parts that I want to remember and keep fresh for awhile so I am going to put them here. Mostly for myself!

Idolatry= the worship of a false God.
God's children are commanded in Exodus 20:3-5 to have "no other Gods" and although no one actually worships or prays to food, there is a definite connection between the need for communion with God and peace with him and the satiating of that need with food. When anxious or fearful, you may eat instead of praying or waiting on God.

When you are experiencing emptiness and feel the desire to eat, you need to put GOD first, rely on his strength, and feed on HIM.
Ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" and "Do I feel true physical hunger or some sort of empty restlessness which is a craving for something other then food?"


The flimsy and futile attempt to obtain pleasure from food, especially sweets, is frustrating at best. You must be taught reliance on the righteousness of Christ and reliance upon his joys and pleasures instead of food.

The proper course of action is prayer and reliance on Christ through support of other Christians, bible reading, and learning to trust solely in him to meet all of your needs.

You can stand in the presence of God with boldness, not because you have kept to your diet successfully, but because God, in his mercy, has chosen you and redeemed you.

You should learn to acknowledge points of disobedience and sin and must confess and repent of them, asking and accepting forgiveness. The repentance involves a change in behavior- more than saying "I'm sorry" - a true effort must be made to change actions and even motivations, all the time relying on the grace and strength of the Lord.

For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather then pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

I am FREE!

I hate to say this, but I am glad the hustle of Christmas is over. We had a very nice Christmas, and yesterday we had another Christmas with Kevin's side of the family which was also really nice but I am glad it's all over with. I honestly think that for once in my life, I was sick of shopping! I like to shop, but I was just plain tired of running around, especially last min. It's very stressful sometimes. I love getting together with family, and I wish we did it more often, but without all the stress of presents and cleaning and cooking! I'd be happier with a pizza delivery and a somewhat messy house. My kids are enjoying their Christmas presents, they got Wii and have been having fun playing with it. Jake finally got his xbox live hooked up and can now play video games with his friends and talk through a head set without even having to get together. I'm not sure that's a good thing! Our poor Gracie has been sick through the holidays. Autumn and Ben both have the cough, and Jake has it a little bit, but Grace got hit hard. She has been miserable for days and I feel so bad for her. All she wants to do is be held. Even in the night, laying next to her is not good enough, she wants to be laying on my chest. Poor thing.

One cute/funny thing that she says when she doesn't feel good is "boom". Probably because anytime she falls down or gets hurt we say did you go boom? So now she must think if she's hurting or sick, it's "boom". So she feels her face, when it's hot and she has a fever and she says "boom". It's just too cute. I think this year being closer to the Lord Christmas felt different to me. Shopping for presents was more stress then fun, doing Santa was not FUN at all. We used to give Jake quite a few presents from Santa, this year we only did two a child. If it were up to me it would have been zero from Santa. lol. I guess it's just bothering me more this year. Kevin's idea of picking a different day of the year to do presents is sounding more and more appealing to me! How about an August celebration? lol.

I thank God for sending his son to die for me, and this year I remembered more then an other year to say Thank you to Christ for his gift of salvation and the phrase "saving me from my sins" has much more meaning to me this year then it ever has. Jesus didn't just die on the cross to save me from hell, but he also died to save me from my sins when I'm alive! I never really quite "caught" that until just recently. I've been learning so much through my eating addiction. My eating issues are sins. But Jesus died so that I don't have to have this sin in my life. I don't HAVE to have an eating addiction. Why did it take me this long to go to the Lord for this? I am AMAZED at what he is doing in my life with my eating since I figured out that I will ALWAYS fail by myself and I need HIM! Since I've given this over to him, he has taken away a lot of my desire to eat! I can eat a half a cookie! Or ONE slice of pizza! I can go hours without thinking about food. I feel different. He has changed me. He is delivering me from this sin. I am so very thankful for this. It's almost weird to think like a "normal" person when it comes to food. I have never, ever in my life felt so free from food before. God is SO good. Of course I am praying every morning, and during the day that he helps me with my eating, that I don't eat too much, that I know when to stop, that he gives me strength not to eat when I know I'm not hungry. He has answered my prayers. He is faithful to me because I have given it to him! Today's sermon was a good one at church too, the high school Pastor Don Mingo gave the sermon and I thought he did a great job. He has a way of explaining a story in the bible that it seems like your there. Almost everything he said today, I was shaking my head up and down, thinking yes lord! It seems it all related to what is going on in my life and how God is working in my life. I will post a link to the sermon when it's up on the website. But one of the things I had a big Amen to was when he said God rewards those who sincerely seek him. ( "and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him") SO true! He has rewarded me, and released me from the chains of a food addiction! Praise God. I know in my heart that if I stay close to God, and keep my relationship with him strong by studying the bible and praying, he will continue to help me with my eating. I'm also sure that he is working on me in other areas of my life! I hope that someday he will use me, to help others to know him by my actions, the way I live my life. I want people to look at me and see Christ! I want people to want what I have and have the opportunity to share Christ with people and share with them how he has saved them from their sins!

So thank you Jesus, Happy Birthday to you and thank you for dying so that I can live and be free!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq3ZFdpOGYs

I am free!

Through you the blind will see

Through you the mute will sing

Through you the dead will rise

Through you all hearts will praise

Through you the darkness flees

Through you my heart screamsI am free

I AM FREE TO RUN

I AM FREE TO DANCE

I AM FREE TO LIVE FOR YOU

I AM FREE

Through you the kingdom comes

Through you the battle's won

Through you the price is paid

Through you I'm not afraid

Through you there's victory

Because of you my soul sings

I am free

[Repeat Chorus]

WHO THE SON SETS FREE-IS FREE INDEED NOW

Unbelievable...

I HAVE to share this post. I just wrote about 10 min ago in my blog how everywhere I look God is talking to me about obedience. I got done writing and clicked on a friends link on my page, and here is what I find!

More taking off...

And........

Put on-put off which is one of hers that I read days ago but it hit so close to home.

Is God amazing or what?

Obedience

I can't believe my last post was on the 10th. I swear this month has just flown right by me! I am not really even ready for Xmas, but am I ever?

My kids went to bed early tonight. (Thank you Jesus) Autumn has been extra whiny lately, I think it's because she has a cold and just needs some rest which is hard to get in this house! Ben is driving me crazy with Xbox. How does a 3 year old boy become addicted to Xbox? He just started playing, maybe 3 weeks ago? Maybe it was longer then that, I don't know, but ever since he started playing it he doesn't stop. He could sit there all day! It started bothering me, and I mentioned it to Kevin and he said, "ah, he'll get sick of it" Well, unfortunately he is NOT getting sick of it. I realized how bad it was today, when two times he didn't even bother to get up to go pee in the bathroom, he just went in his pants! That's a good sign right there it needs to be controlled better. I took the controllers away and told him enough. He cried. I feel bad but he's too young to be playing xbox all day long. Anyway!

Since I last posted I think I have learned some interesting things. It amazes me that I have been a Christian, or so I thought a true christian for about 4 years, and I've done many bible studies, but some things just didn't quite "sink in" until now. I don't know why things work that way? God has really been working on my heart about obedience in the past few weeks. Have I heard of being obedient to God before? Of course! Was I? Um, no. Did I subconsciously choose to ignore the fact that if I am born again I need to be "out w/the old self"? I'm not even sure but lately it seems that every book or piece of paper, or blog I read, or sermon I listen to is about being obedient to Jesus. If I want to have a close relationship with God and feel his peace and Joy, I need to be obedient. What a concept that is. :) I almost feel stupid that it took me this long to get it!

I'm not just talking about eating either, that is another lesson I have learned lately, I'll get to that in a min! But I'm talking about anything! I have NOT been putting God, or what God wants first in my life for many things. I almost feel like in the last few weeks, my brain has been overloaded with information. . God really was teaching me things!

As for my eating goes, this is what I've soaked in so far from the book(s) I'm reading and meeting with Diane and just what God has told me!

For my entire life, I've been dieting & exercising, I'd lose the weight, look good, feel good, then fall back down and go back to my old habits. Always looking for something to fill that hole, that nagging feeling inside that I "need" something, oh it must be food! (uh, no Amy, it's God you air head) But I always went straight to food for my temporary fix. Thing is, it never worked! I'd feel good while I ate, then a 1/2 hour later I'd be looking for something else to eat. Why?? I was trying to fill a void I had in my life, but the problem was, I was filling the void by sinning, which in turn was taking me FARTHER from God, and giving me LESS peace and joy! Why didn't I see this? All those times I dieted, and then went back to eating again, I was falling down, over, and over, and over because I was trying to lose weight for the wrong reasons!

1. I was looking for MANS approval, not Gods. Will others think I look good? Will they tell me after I lose weight how good I look?

Well, I've learned that I am not supposed to care what MAN thinks of me! Only what GOD thinks.

2. I was doing it by myself. Without God, trying to do it with my own "will power" which never worked!

I finally am getting this. First of all, it doesn't matter what I look like to other people, I shouldn't be looking for their approval. I should be looking to God for his and IF I was being obedient to GOD and doing things HIS way, I wouldn't be eating so much and the by product and blessing of that would be the weight coming off, and never coming back, because I am doing to to please God not for man! Hallelujah! I feel like a veil was lifted! I will never keep any weight off unless I am doing it for the right reasons!

So, I have to say, since this revelation, it's been getting easier! HE is helping me! Who would have thought? lol. Do something to please God and he'll help you! (he'll even go as far as making the food at my favorite restaurant not taste as good as usual!) I'm sure some of my seasoned Christian friends are thinking, well duh Amy! lol. That's OK though, I have a sense of humor about how long it takes me to "get" things. Thank the Lord for people like Diane who can explain things to me more then once until it clicks!

I am excited about my new knowledge and closer relationship with Christ. I am not by any means saying it's easy for me and you can expect me to be thin soon. :) It's still hard. I still want to go to the fridge or snack pantry many times a day, and some times I do, but I have to use the self control God is giving me to say no to the food, and Pray to him! When I do that, he helps!

Anyway, I am very happy that he is working on me and my heart and changing me to be more like him. I feel better about things already, my attitude shows it and I feel closer to God (not to mention have a better relationship with my husband) which is such a blessing!

Speaking of blessings, (sorry Kevin but I have to share this) My husband has recently accepted Christ! A few years ago he wasn't so sure he believed the bible, or that Jesus was the son of God but he now believes! That is an answered prayer and such an awesome one. I am happy to say that I have a God fearing husband! The funny thing is, he didn't even bother to share this with me. Like for me, when i got saved, I was excited! I was hungry for God and couldn't get enough information. My husband is just so laid back he didn't even bother to tell me. I asked him what he wants for Christmas and he says, "what more could I want then the gift that Jesus died for my sins?" I about fell off my chair! Then later driving in my van, I cried! God is good! Kevin has been listening to the bible on tape in his truck to and from work. I knew this, but didn't know the effect it had on him. So praise God! God is doing some major work in the Vander Galien household!

Well, I think I am going to go enjoy a cup of tea (thanks Chris!) and read a little bit in peace and quiet and then go to bed early for once!

He's amazing me AGAIN.

I have to blog about this right now while it's fresh in my mind. I have been struggling the past few days with my relationship or should I say my closeness and love for Christ. Just have questions and as my friend Karen put it, "growing pains".

He showed himself again to me this morning two times.

First of all, from doing this blog and reading others, a women, from church, strong in her faith made a few comments on my blog, she found my blog through someone Else's blog. I since emailed her, and we just started talking, which was a blessing in itself. The thing that hit this morning and I knew was just not "coincidence" was this.

Since I started volunteering at middle school ministry, I met this sweet high school girl, who helps out w/the middle school kids. I have been amazed by her faith, and that she takes time in her life to work with the middle school kids, being she is in high school. I recall one day asking her where she went to school and she said " I am home schooled right now" I remember thinking I would love to meet her mom sometime. We have been talking about splitting our group on Wed night because it's getting to big, and the plan is that I would lead and Hannah will help me.

This morning I found out that the sweet women who I have become friends with through her commenting on my blog, and now emailing me IS Hannah's mom! ( I'm quite sure God has had this planned all along and I'm just figuring it out now)

Secondly, this morning I was in the shower. Praying that God help me with my struggle with food, help me to know how and when to start laying down my food for him because I have no desire to do so.

I come downstairs and pull out the binder for tonight's middle school ministry teaching, and what is the first thing I see? This paragraph-

"Procrastination isn't just a problem when it comes to getting our homework or our chores done; it affects how we follow Christ. Jesus wants us to follow him NOW.

I laughed! (and then I cried!) God has been showing himself and how close he is in my life a lot lately. He is really doing some chiseling away at me these days. Praise God. I'm so glad he's working in my life, in my heart, and changing me to be more like him. What a wonderful thing that he loves me so much.

Last night I heard this song on the radio and thought it was the most appropriate song for me right now......

It's called "Undo" by Rush of fools. Here's the lyrics..

Rush Of Fools - Undo From the album Rush Of Fools

I've been here before, now here I am again

Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in

To label me a prodigal would be Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Chorus

Turn me around

pick me up

Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place Of forgiveness and grace

I need You,

need Your help I can't do this myself

You’re the only one who can undo What I've become

I focused on the score, but I could never win Trying to ignore,

a life of hiding my sin

To label me a hypocrite would be Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be

Chorus

Make every step lead me back to The sovereign way that You

So today starts a new journey for me. I'm sure I will have much to blog about in the coming days.

My church

Just a quick praise for my church. I feel so blessed to have Fox River as my home church. I just find so much joy at church I honestly can't think of any other place that that I almost always leave with a good feeling in my heart. I can be in the worst mood, stressed, crabby, sad, whatever, and when I leave those doors I feel better.

This morning I had two things going on at church. I had my first meeting with Diane about my eating issues and then the church was putting on womens luncheon so I also attended that.

Meeting with Diane just started my day off reminding me that I am not expected to be perfect, or to become a perfect Christian over night. Just because I have failed at things in the past doesn't mean that I will fail at them forever. That God works in our life in HIS time and his timing is the right timing. There's a reason why I fail at things and I need to just get back up and try again. I am not saying that this is a license for me to fail, or not to TRY but just not to be so hard on myself when I do fail. At the same time, Rachel (the speaker) hit my heart when she was talking about what Christmas is really about, and how she was in a shop with her sisters, a place full of ornaments and she was searching the store for a nativity scene and she couldn't find one anywhere, and the more frantically she looked, she finally found one, on a BOTTOM shelf, all dusty, and by itself. Her voice was cracking as she talked about it. She said she got teary in the store and her sisters couldn't understand why she was so sad. Jesus was the best most important gift that anyone could ever accept/receive, but people tend to put him on the bottom shelf and let him get dusty. Me included. It seems I go through stages where I am very close to my God and then times when I get busy and don't make time for him in my life, and put him on the shelf. (Then I realize that my life is pretty crummy and remember, oh yeah! I haven't been spending time with my Lord!)I don't want to do that. I'm glad she brought it to my attention because during this season it's SO easy to get so busy with shopping and cleaning and stressing about holiday meals, that we forget what we are celebrating in the first place! My husband said one day after he read my blog about not wanting to "do" Santa that we should just not do gifts at all. Just pick a different day of the year to do gifts, and on Christmas just celebrate Christ! Have a birthday party for Jesus and that's it, so our kids understand what Christmas really is. At first I thought that was absurd, how would we get away with that when everyone else is exchanging gifts and talking about Santa? But the more I think about it, I kinda think it's not such a terrible idea! But everyone else in the family and the world for that matter celebrates Christmas with presents, and get togethers and meals so how do you just change that with your own kids? On Friday Autumn came home from school and reminded me that Santa comes tonight. I thought, oh great now the teachers talk about St. Nick coming too. perfect. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Autumn's teacher, so I am not making this comment about her, it's just what if I don't want to celebrate the fat man? What if I want my kids to know if something ends up in that stocking it's from their parents not some made up man? Now I"M the one that's going to disappoint her if I tell her there is no Santa. Because everyone else tells her there is. I don't know why this all of a sudden pulls at my heart more this year then any other. Jake is now 12 and knows Santa doesn't exist, but when anyone says anything to my other kids about Santa I just feel myself cringe inside. I don't know what that feeling is? Well, I got off subject here. I've been interrupted about 15 times since I sat down here so I guess I'm just losing my concentration! This is why I try to wait till every one's in bed to write in my blog, but by then I'm so exhausted I fall asleep instead! lol.

Bottom line I wanted to blog about today was that I really love my church and my sisters in Christ, and spending time there with the people that are trying to be more like Jesus. I had a nice morning and thankful for my church. Guess I'm off to be a mom (aka, taxi driver).....

Thanksgiving......Ends with a blast......

My house is a complete disaster at the moment and I really should be cleaning it up before I go to bed,but I have got to make some time to post about this years thanksgiving because I don't want to forget details of it later on. It was a nice thanksgiving. My sister and her husband came over to my house in the morning and put the Turkey in, (because they are the cooks of the family) and I just basted and watched it cook and did the small things like potatoes and dessert. My dad didn't come this year, it was Jane's side of the family's turn for him so we didn't have the pleasure of having dad around, but our small gathering was nice. My brother Keith said the prayer before dinner and he did such a fabulous job. You can tell when someone is praying from their heart, not just spewing out words so they can eat. He meant what he said and it was touching. (love him!) So of course we ate till we were stuffed and enjoyed each others company. After everyone had left, Kevin and the kids and I decided that we would have our first fire in the fireplace in this house. Kevin went out and got some wood and started getting the fireplace ready, and I was getting drinks ready for us all in the kitchen. As I'm standing in the kitchen, I hear this big "POOF!" sound, and then Kevin yell something. I knew something bad happened. Kevin came around the corner and his hair looked like Einstein. Sticking up everywhere and all burnt. The house was quickly filling up with smoke and the fire alarm started to go off. Then the security system alarm started going off. The kids were freaking out, crying and Jake couldn't breathe because of his asthma so he was crying and went outside, smoke was going out our windows, (why didn't any neighbors hear or notice this?) At that time we figured out the flu (flute?) whatever it's called, was not open, so that explained the blast. Kevin had went downstairs to turn the gas on (it was turned off due to putting a fireplace in the basement recently) so by the time he came upstairs the fireplace was filling with gas and had no where to go but out when he lit the lighter! So instead of the gas and flames going up they came right at him. Our fireplace is real log burning, but a gas start. So he rushed to turn the gas off, but we still had burning logs in there and didn't know how to get hands in there to get the flu open! I was about ready to call the fire department and Kevin got it open with some fireplace tool. (Thank God!) After getting that open, I called my sister and told her, we need to take Kevin to the hospital. Thankfully she lives close by and jumped in her car and came over (thanks Cindy!) Kevin ended up spending the night in the hospital. I don't think I've ever seen the ER work so quickly! They had him in a room and yelled "trauma something or another" over their speaker and we had like 4 people in the room within minutes! I was impressed. He has second degree burns on his arm, hand, face. After 3 injections of Morphine in his IV he was finally feeling some relief from the pain. Needless to say, I had to come home without my husband that night. They made him stay. They actually wanted him to go to the burn center but he said no. The next morning Gracie was walking around saying, "Daddy owdie!" (owie) She is so sweet. His arm is looking pretty bad, he had a huge, and I do mean huge blister on the top of his arm that popped yesterday. I wish I had taken a picture of it. (Grace called that a bubble. (Daddy bubble!) It's isn't looking pretty but he insists that he doesn't "need" to go to a follow up appointment with a burn doctor. (typical Kevin!) So hopefully nothing will get infected and he will heal OK without scarring. It's awful this happened to my husband on thanksgiving, it really is, and I feel bad for him that he has to deal with this and it keeps him from doing things, but the blessings are that none of my children were near that fireplace when that flame came flying out of there. I can't imagine one of our babies going through what their daddy has gone through in the past few days so I am praising God that my sweet kids are safe. I am also thankful that Kevin didn't get it worse then he did, our house didn't burn down because if anymore gas would have built up in there I'm sure it could have been MUCH worse, so I know God was watching over us that night.
I have SO much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and everyday for that matter. We are blessed with four healthy children, I have a husband who loves me, a sister and brothers that live close that I can see often, My dad visits often and we have a great relationship, a beautiful home, wonderful neighbors, many friends, honestly what don't I have to be thankful for?! The lord has been very gracious to us. As someone at Walmart said to me one day as I was shopping for primer, "We are not worthy!" God is so good to us, and I need to keep that in mind more then one day a year. Everyday is a day to praise him and thank him for what we have. Well, Kevin is starting to clean up, (which is an odd thing at this time of night) so I had better get up and help before he decides to quit. Happy Thanksgiving it is...........

A post I didn't write.....

I need this in my blog. I just went to a friends blog (Shelley) to read and this is what she posted. I am going to put it here so I can come back to it and read it when I need to!

Here it is......

Life is hard
I was stuck by this passage in the message version today...
"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. " 1 Peter 4:13
So much of life is hard. There are the things that seem hard at the moment like dealing with a mouthy kid, not having new furniture you really want or having to stay inside at work on a beautiful day. Of course, as soon as something really hard comes along we convince ourselves that we never really considered the other stuff hard.
In both cases - real hardship and imagined we tend to sometimes wonder "where is God? And why did he allow this?" The reality is that he is still in control and the hardship we are experiencing is just what we need to yield the fruit he is seeking to grow in our lives. So, buck up - that trial was chosen just for you.

God is showing himself.......... :)

First of all this morning I have to say "Wow!" I came downstairs and looked out the window and saw a nice blanket of snow on the ground and my bushes and trees look beautiful with a covering of snow! It is still snowing and looks so pretty coming down. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT by any means a winter girl. I don't like the cold at all. If I could stay inside all winter and never come out I probably would. I'm a huge baby in the cold and I would rather spend a day in 90 degrees. However, I do love to see the snow and watch it fall.
So I've been wanting to write about how Christ has been so blatantly showing himself in my life lately and it's really putting me on a "God high" I like to write about these things so I don't forget them in the future when I'm not feeling quite so close to him, or seeing him in my life.
It's hard to be really open on my blog sometimes knowing that I share it with other people, it's even hard to figure out how to write things so someone else will understand it, but I have to try to remember that is not why I started this blog. I started it to write down things I wanted to remember about my days as a mother, funny things my kids do, and my life in general, for me. I just chose to share it also! I will try to do a better job for myself and family of being candid and not worry so much about what other people think, after all, I am not perfect!
I think ever since I was a kid I have loved to eat and have had a slight weight issue on and off. I have been "dieting" through my 38 years, I lose weight then gain it back again. I can do good for as long as 9 months and then just go right back to the way I was. I just got done w/this cycle again. I exercised and ate well for 8 months, then in about June I hurt myself running and just quit exercising and starting eating bad again. Well, in the past 3 weeks or so, God has kinda been convicting me, but in his subtle ways as usual. ( I always tell him he needs to be more of a slap in the face for me to get it right away, but he's a loving God, :) ) So, after hearing that voice a few too many times I realized, I am being a glutton again, and I have an addiction to food. It's NOT normal to be eating popcorn and be thinking about what I can eat when I'm done with it. So I was thinking to myself, what do I do?? Do I go back to weight watchers again? Do I do some other diet that I've done before and failed? Do I go back to the Y and exercise 6 days a week again? OA? Where do I find someone who will understand what is wrong with me and be able to help me? I felt frustrated. Then I think it was 2 or 3 days later, I went to middle school ministry on Wed night and one of the other ladies that I just started to get to know better was saying how she was trying to eat right. Well the more we emailed each other after that night, we figured out we have the same problem. A food addiction. That is not a coincidence to me. God brought us together for a reason. So here God is showing himself in my life, how close he is to my thoughts. I'm already praising him, thanks God for sending her! How wonderful! Then Sunday comes, I am walking out the door at church, and one of the ladies at church says "Hi Amy! How are you?" and I say "Good, how are you?" As I'm walking in the parking lot, I'm thinking of the song by Casting Crowns called Stained Glass Masquerade.......here's the lyrics....

"Stained Glass Masquerade"

Is there anyone that fails Is there anyone that falls Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small Cause when I take a look around Everybody seems so strong I know they'll soon discoverThat I don't belongSo I tuck it all away, like everything's okayIf I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it tooSo with a painted grin, I play the part againSo everyone will see me the way that I see them Are we happy plastic peopleUnder shiny plastic steeplesWith walls around our weaknessAnd smiles to hide our painBut if the invitation's openTo every heart that has been brokenMaybe then we close the curtainOn our stained glass masqueradeIs there anyone who's been thereAre there any hands to raiseAm I the only one who's tradedIn the altar for a stageThe performance is convincingAnd we know every line by heartOnly when no one is watchingCan we really fall apartBut would it set me freeIf I dared to let you seeThe truth behind the personThat you imagine me to beWould your arms be openOr would you walk awayWould the love of JesusBe enough to make you stay

Referring to how we smile at church and act like everything is great but it's not. We are hiding behind some mask. Well that's what I felt like when I was walking to my van. Oh sure, I'm great! But did she really want to hear my story walking out of church? I'm sure not!
Well, this women happens to be someone that has had struggles in the past with eating. She is also someone that has helped me w/it in the past. Think she was put in that doorway by coincidence? I think not! God again. So after seeing her, it finally hit me a day later to email her and ask her to do a study with me again because I can't do this eating thing without God. She wrote back and said what you ask? That after seeing me, God laid it on her heart to pray for me! How amazing is that?? When I read her email, I thought, Wow God you are really something. Not that I'm surprised, but amazed at him and thankful is more like it.
Then I pick up the magazine from middle school ministry table this wed and Thursday I started reading it. What is it about? How close God is to us. lol. I had to laugh! Is he trying to tell me something? He's here. He's with me and he's going to help me. Thanks Lord. I so appreciate you showing me how close you are to me and that you care about everything in my life. It's not that I didn't KNOW this. I ask him for little things all the time, like when I'm in the shower in the morning to please keep my kids asleep so I can have some time to myself in the morning to have a cup of coffee in peace. Selfish I know, but a lot of days, he answers that prayer. Or giving me close parking spots when the kids are with me and it's raining? He hears my "little" things and a lot of time answers. He's so wonderful and it's when he's so close like this I that It makes me love him. I used to wonder, how do people say they "love" God? How do they fall in love with him. I know how now. He loves me. That was proven at the cross, but in the daily things, he shows me. I think sometimes you have to be looking for him or you won't see how involved he really is in your life.
Another thing that is that on Wed nights Josh has been talking about serving a lot. Of course I have heard the story about Jesus washing his disciples feet before, and I've heard that he wants us to serve, but what I didn't get was that serving is also something we do to be obedient to God. Why do I want to be obedient to God? Because I love him. So when I heard that I think there was a click in my head. Oh! I need to eat well to be obedient to him! I need to serve at home and not complain to be obedient. Hmmmmmmmm. Not saying that's easy, but it makes more sense to me now. Why I didn't get this years ago I don't know, but I guess we learn everything when we are supposed to. So now when I'm grumbling at home about the pile of laundry or the messy house I try to tell myself, "Amy, you are here to serve and right now my job is to serve my husband and four kids. Now just because I had this realization that doesn't mean it's going to be a piece of cake but it does make doing things a tad easier when I think about doing it for the Lord.

I'm quite sure that I was brought to the middle school ministry for many reason! Not only to serve the middle school kids. :)

My daddy

I just have to write something about my dad. I was just looking over my blog, and there's a pic of me and my dad, and the music on my blog just happen to be the Cinderella song by Steven Curtis Chapman as I'm staring at this picture of us. I feel so blessed that my dad is a part of my life, a friend to me. That he is 77 and probably healthier then his children. He is such a blessing to me, and I enjoy any time that I get to spend with him. My dad is such a humble guy. He's just one of those people that will do anything for anyone and think nothing of it. When I tell him he's a great dad, or Grandpa he says I give him too much credit. I don't think I give him enough. Just a little "X's and O's" to my daddy tonight. I love you dad..........

My kids......

Well, once again, I've been slacking on blogging! I am bad at this! Actually, in reality, I just don't have time to do this during the day. Sure, I can get on the computer and send a few emails, but to actually sit down and THINK about things is another story when my kids are awake. I thought tonight I should write a few things about the kids that I would like to remember in the future.

Jake is now 12. Amazing how time flies. He's a sports nut, loves to play sports, and be outdoors. He is also pretty interested in Xbox right now, and spends a little time on the computer. Jake's a good kid. He really is. I can't say he really enjoys helping out much at home, but he usually will do what we ask him to. A lot of times I wish I had more time to spend with Jake, just giving him some one on one attention but it seems to be so hard to do this with 3 younger kids in the house and I feel bad about it. He understands it's hard, as much as a 12 yr old can understand, but In my heart I'd really like to be able to spend more time with him. He's pretty busy too, Monday nights he has band practice, (drums) Wed nights is the Freeway at church, and soon basketball will start up.

Autumn is in kindergarten already. Those 5 years went by just like that. She is doing SO well in school. The first few weeks she was a bit scared, especially if the teacher left her sight, but that's expected. She spent 5 years with her mommy! But now she loves school and cries if she has to miss school due to being sick. She's grown a lot since starting school. She has made friends, and has really started to enjoy art and writing. She spends tons of time in our "kids office" where all their art stuff is, making pictures, and writing her letters, etc....I'm running out of space for all her art work. I love it though and glad she has found something she loves to do. She also just started sleeping in her bed all night by herself (instead of with daddy) I am SO proud of her for doing this. Most of our friends/family know we are a co-sleeping family, so that's a big step for her. (and dad I think! lol.)

Ben, well, Ben has become a little stinker. He used to be this sweet innocent little boy, and is now the three year old terror of our house. :) Bless his heart, but the boy is just rough and crazy and for some reason thinks that his main mission in life is to hurt his siblings. I think a lot of that started when Autumn started school and Ben lost his best friend. Sure, he has Gracie home with him, but she's a 20 month old, 21 pound peanut that takes a beating from him daily! She is not the playmate he was used to, so I think he's a little mad inside and is taking it out by beating us all up. Hopefully this is a stage that will end sooner then later! But on a good note, Ben is mostly potty trained, a day I never thought would come! He still wears diapers at night, but during the day he's in undies! The wonderful thing about a 3yr old boy potty training is he pees ALL OVER the place!! All over the toilet, the floor, the WALL! God help me. But we are saving money on diapers right? lol.

Gracie, our sweet peanut. She brings lots of smiles to us right now. Such a cute age. She's learning new words, and becoming her own little person. She says all her brothers and sister name now. Ben is Bomb. Autumn is Aum, Jake is Gake, Brutus is Bruty, or Bru Boy, and mom and Daddy she says pretty good.

She is addicted to her NUK. I'm quite sure she'd rather have that then food, but once in awhile she gets hungry or see's something she wants and she'll throw her nuk for a bite to eat. When she wants food she says, "bite!" or "more?" and will put her finger to her palm. When she's thirsty she says, "hip!" That means Sip. (Thanks daddy) it's too cute.

We shaved her head over a month ago because she would stick her NUK in her hair and pull her hair out and wrap it around the nuk when she was tired, we wanted to break the habit so we shaved her head. Well, her hair is growing back and she's not wasting anytime trying to rip it out again. She also tries to steal my hair when we are in bed together, and she occasionally will rip out Brutus's hair too. I don't know what it is w/the hairy nuk that she likes. Very strange but i wish she'd knock it off. lol. I'm sure I could write all night about our kids but it's getting late and I probably should get to bed soon. At least I have an update about my kids that I can look back on!

Where to start....

It's amazing how quickly a week goes by and I neglect to get to this blog and write a few things.I have got to get better about this! First of all I need to do a quick update on what we taught/learned at the Freeway tonight because I promised a few moms I do an overview on here because our children usually don't give us very much detail when they come home! I know before I was on staff when I would ask Jake what he learned and talked about he never had much to tell me! So tonight was another Zinger by Jesus ( I just realized I never posted about last weeks Zinger, oopps!)

The zinger was to Bow with the King. Basically what we were trying to teach the kids was that Jesus was not a king that sat up on a throne and would not reach down to the common person, but he was quite the opposite! He was a king that served! He walked with the people on the dirt roads, he washed people's feet, he fasted, and most important of all, he died for US. He told the disciples to bow w/the king. He wants us to all have a serving heart and live our lives to serve others not to be served! Talk about convicting! I spent a good portion of my day today being very angry at my husband for leaving things for me to do around the house and not helping me out. I was upset and mad, and having a pity party for myself that I have SO much to do, all while thinking about AMY. My guess would be that Jesus wouldn't be complaining about some of the things I complain about. So tomorrow I need to remember that I am here to serve others. ie ~ my husband and kids, not to be served. It's a hard thing to swallow. I don't think anyone I know can honestly say that they are that unselfish that they care more about serving others and someone Else's needs more then their own. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there are some people that just naturally have that servant heart and are not worried about their own needs as much as others? (Actually I DO know one person like that, my brother Keith has given up his life to serve/care for his wife/my sweet sister in law Debbie, who is in a wheel chair thanks to a car accident and a irresponsible teenager) To me, It's something that I need to pray about and ask God to give me a servant heart, to make me more like him. Back to the kids though, Its amazing sometimes what comes out of their mouths. Most of the time it's exactly what you would expect from 7th graders but sometimes they really touch my heart. Like tonight one of the girls asking for prayer that she has strength to share Christ with her family. Now that is a cool thing to hear from 13 year old.

So that was my night at the Freeway tonight. Pretty interesting. It's amazing how you think your going to something to help someone else learn about our God then you end up learning and being convicted yourself! :)

I know there was more I wanted to write about tonight but I am finding myself all of a sudden very tired! Considering it is after 11 I guess I will go to bed and hopefully have time early in the morning to come back and post what I can't remember tonight because my brain is falling asleep. Until then.......Goodnight!

Monday night

Well, it's Monday already. The weekend just flew by like they always do! We changed the clocks back this weekend so now it's dark at 5ish. I hate it. That is one of the things I dislike most about winter is there is just not enough sunlight for a girl like me. I need my sunlight! I'm going to have to purchase one of those fake lights for inside the house to get my vitamin D levels up so I don't develop SAD. lol. (Seasonal affective disorder or something like that).

Anyway, last Friday was Trick or treat. That was fun for the kids and it's getting easier for us too. We have less kids to carry around, Ben walked this year, but he was being VERY shy. At first he didn't even want to go to people's doors. I hope he's not going to grow up being as shy as his dad. After awhile he kinda warmed up to the idea but still wanted me to go all the way to the door with him. I will try and post some pictures of the kids later in their costumes. Ben was spider man as I posted previously, (with muscles!) Autumn was a fairy and Gracie was Elmo. She loves "Melmo". Jake didn't really feel the need to dress up this year. He threw on a Packer Jersey and he was good to go. Needless to say we have plenty of candy in the house.(Not that I haven't been buying Halloween candy for the last month and eating it anyway!) I just can't figure out why my jeans are getting tight? hmmm.

Last week was also Jake's 12th birthday. I still can NOT believe he is 12. Those 12 years just flew right by. He is growing up so fast and he is getting more and more handsome! He had all his friends over the day after his birthday to play football in the yard, I think there must have been at least 12 boys? They all had pizza and cake and then 6 of them slept over. WHAT WAS I THINKING? It started as 3 sleeping over. But you know how that goes. You start thinking one is going to get their feelings hurt and then they are all staying. I guess the goal was to see if they could stay up all night. They were NOT quiet. At 2:30 I took one of the boys home, I'm quite sure he was home sick. Then at about 3 Gracie woke up. Then Autumn woke up. Kevin got irritated that the kids were up and just took them downstairs at 3am to watch TV and play xbox. We were all tired the next day but Jake had a lot of fun with his friends. I wish I would have got some of it on tape, like his friend Ty standing in the living room with a sleeping bag over his body trying to blindly fight off his friends that were knocking him down, then my husband grabbing him and dragging him around the house in his sleeping bag without Tyler knowing who had a hold of him. It was quite funny.

I'm glad Jake got to enjoy his birthday, and even though we lost some sleep, it wasn't costly and in the end, worth it.

Last night I watched the movie The Bucket list. Good movie. Makes me wonder why we don't all live each day like we have 6 months to live. Its so easy to get caught up in life and not even really enjoy it. We just go through our days, doing what we always do , not really appreciating what we have, or being thankful that we are healthy, we just kinda exist. I pray to God not to let me live that way. I don't want to have to be dying to start enjoying my life and appreciating the people in my life or what I have. I have my Friend Sarah on my mind tonight too. Last night she said in an email to me that I have been a blessing to her. When I read that, all I could think was just the opposite! SHE has been the blessing to ME! Just knowing her, and watching her go through breast cancer, and reading all her journal entries has made such an impact on me. She is a very strong, courageous women. She also has a tremendous amount of faith in God, and she is sharing that by her writings. I don't think she even realizes how God is speaking through her to others. She is going through a hard time right now, stressing about things that I too would be driving myself insane about and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. If your reading this, please say a prayer for Sarah. Lift her up, she needs some comfort right now while she waits for results. Stay strong my girl, your my hero!

I suppose I should go clean up my house, it's in it's usual state, disastrous.

Catching up......

I haven't had a chance to post since Tuesday I think. Wed was an interesting day worth noting a few things so I have to backtrack and try to remember everything I wanted to post about.

One thing that sticks out was I took Benjamin and Gracie to the library for something to do, (and Ben wanted some Caillou moives). Looking back now,I think I was really brave (stupid) when I took that trip because Ben is potty training and I took him there without a diaper, in underwear, and no extra's in the van, (not even thinking about it!) but the funny thing is, Ben did fine. He even used the potty at the library, but Gracie on the other hand did not fair so well! Grace has a quirky habit of walking around with her hand shoved in the back of her diaper. I have no idea why she does this, but she does. When she poops, she will come up to me and say "Butt!" lol. So we are at the library and she comes up to me and says, "Butt!" and holds her hand in the air for me to see. Of course, it's full of poop! I have nothing in my purse but kleenex! So a trip to the bathroom to wash her disgusting hands and then we had to leave. How Ironic, not the one that's being potty trained makes the mess with poop. I just thought that was something funny I want to remember and read later on.

Wed night was the Freeway at church (something Jake attends, and I am a volunteer youth leader for). Pastor Josh just amazes me week after week. This week was the last week of the series "Exposed! The naked truth about sex" I have to say, I wish I would have had a Pastor Josh in my life when I was entering my teen years. He is teaching the kids BEFORE they have to deal with all the pressures what the bible expects about sex,marriage,dating and he does just a fantastic job. He has such a way of speaking to the middle school age kids that they understand him. Being there is so helpful to me as a parent too because it helps ME to know what God expects from Jake, and helps me to explain things to Jake also. This past week he basically summed it up for the kids that they really shouldn't date at all. Why? Because Sexual PURITY should be a goal for these kids. To wait till they are married to open the gift of sex. He said kids ask him all the time at church, "How far is too far?" He said basically, kissing is too far, because kissing ignites other hormones in your body and makes it harder for you control yourself. He also told the kids to make their standards known to their friends (and others) so they don't get caught in sticky situations later on. Basically saying, if people know you don't want to date, or don't plan to have sex till marriage they won't expect it from you! He also said, if you've done something already, stop! Ask God for forgiveness and take steps backwards! I'm just so glad that Jake attends this on Wed nights, it's not only a teaching, the kids have so much fun. They goof around and play dodgeball, they have a band that is mostly kids playing instruments and singing and they all gather around the stage and do worship, then Pastor Josh talks, then we go to small groups. I have not heard Jake complain about going ONCE. I sincerely hope Pastor Josh is around when my other kids are Jake's age, or there's another Pastor Josh for them to learn from. Yes, home is where they should learn the most about God, but it sure helps a ton to have that second voice reaffirming what is said at home, especially by someone the kids can relate to and they think he's "cool".

Enough of that!

Well, I'm off to shower to make another trip to Walmart to get the "right" Spider man costume for Ben. Yesterday we bought him the costume, and after coming home realized that the head piece was missing, AND it wasn't even the right costume! On the cardboard it showed the spider man with big "muscles" and the one Ben got did not have muscles and he was NOT happy about it! lol.

Yeaah, it's Saturday! (and no hunting today! whoop!)

Thoughts by Rick Warren......

This is something that I received in email and thought it was very good and worth sharing on my blog! I have been wanting to update things the past few days but haven't had time so I will be writing more today sometime!
Here's something by Rick Warren...Worth reading and going back to!

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE ' PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE' ) You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond:

In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72 First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.

Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD.

Bible verses for my worry wart self......

That's me. I'm a full blown worry wart. I'm sure the fact that I have an anxiety disorder plays a part in how much I worry about things, but sometimes ( alot of the time) I worry about things that I just don't have any control over!

I've been having pain in my ovary area, had an exam and an ultrasound and they found a cyst on the right side, but my pain is on the left. They aren't quite sure what the pain is so they tell me to wait it out a few cycles. I'm frustrated. They could at the very least do blood work or something.

I'm quite sure that the fact that my mother died of cancer makes things worse. I have a fear of getting cancer. Why wouldn't I? Maybe I'm wrong for feeling that way, but to me, losing my mom at 11 had a big impact, and I DO not want my kids growing up without a mother, and I don't want to miss a second of any of their lives. Of course, that is not up to ME. So I do spend time praying about it. That God would allow Kevin and I to grow old and become grandparents and be able to spend time with our grandchildren. This post got away from me! My main reason for writing this post was to write myself some bible verses to come back to so I stop thinking about my pain and worrying that I have cancer when I have absolutely NO evidence that I have cancer! So, here's two that I thought would be good to get in my head!

"So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Santa?

I just had to put this in writing. Maybe my hubby will read it and give it some thought too. I've been thinking since before last xmas about this. But I was just watching the Christmas DVD of Dora with Ben and Gracie and started thinking about this again.

I'm not really sure about the idea of lying to my kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny, etc. To me, It just seems like it's teaching them that lying and making things up are ok, and besides that, All these years, that's all Jake really thought Christmas was about, was Santa coming and getting presents. Maybe i'm just being selfish again, and i'm keeping my kids from enjoying something that I myself enjoyed as a kid?

Jake now knows that Santa does not exsist. We also now have four children, and are not going to be able to afford filling the underside of our xmas tree with presents each year. I'd like it if my kids got used to just getting like 3 presents for xmas instead of 10. Jake always got a lot. So the past few years, I bought the other two quite a bit also. I'd like them to really know what we are celebrating at Christmas time, and yes presents are nice for everyone, and maybe we can just say, Jesus got 3 presents for his birthday, so that's what you get from us? I don't know, just thoughts I have. Why make up some fake person that gives them presents? They appreciate the stuff more if they know their parents bought it anyway!

God's talking to me again.......... :)

Well, it's become apparent to me that God is trying to tell me something.
I've told him in the past that he needs to be more blunt with me because It seems to take me awhile to catch on when he's talking to me. :) His subtle and graceful ways are wonderful, thank God he's patient with people like me who don't know it's him I'm hearing the first time! (or the second for that matter!)
I'll admit it, I'm a grudge holder. Usually not for very long, and unfortunately it's usually my husband that I'm holding the grudge against.
Hunting season has been a struggle for me since Autumn was born, and got harder after every child we had. Our kids are little and I need him home. Because Kevin is a bow hunter, his hunting isn't limited to just a few weekends a year. He can basically hunt from Oct to Jan. Now I'm not posting this blog to complain about Kevin, only to explain how God has been talking to me and I wasn't "getting it". First, last wed at middle school ministries at church (I'm a youth group leader) Pastor Josh was talking about myths about sex. BUT one of the "Lies" he talked about was this ~ MYSELF matters more then OTHERS. (This is the first clue God was giving me) Even someone in our small group talked about how she would get mad if her kids cut in on her "free time", and that she needed prayer about that. (me too!) Because our kids are more important then us. and so is everyone else, including our husbands! So, It got my brain going. We are supposed to treat others, and their needs like they are more important then us. Their needs are more important then ours. Wow. That is a hard concept. Not the first time I've heard it, but so easy to ignore it and not want to live that way! We are living in a "it's all about ME world!"
So, it DID get me thinking.
Then Saturday came along, and Kevin went hunting. I was totally fine with it and told him to go. He was gone from about 12:30pm to 9pm? But he called me at like 8pm and said he had to go back to Fond Du lac the next day to register the deer because it was too late to do it that night. Well, that's when I got angry and my SELFISH side of me came out. I instantly thought, "Perfect! Another day he won't be here and I deal w/the kids myself! ARRG" I was irritated and it was all over. I don't' think I spoke to him when he came home. (why? selfishness, grudges) So then Sunday morning rolls along and here's God talking to me once again. What is church about? Judgementalism! Who do I judge most? MY HUSBAND! Jesus is saying, don't find faults in others, don't have a critical attitude and spirit, don't be negative. JESUS was not like that!
I hear Kevin saying to our kids all the time, "Do you want to have God in your heart?" Jeez, I think God's talking to me through my husband!
Pastor talked about Judgementalism blinds us (log in our eye) to seeing and dealing with our OWN faults and sins! TRUTH!

Here was the passage at the end of the worksheet we filled out~

"There is someone I love, even though I don't approve of what he does.
There is someone I accept, though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me.
There is someone I forgive, though he hurts the people I love the most.
That person is ME."
C.S. Lewis

That is so true! But even after going to chruch in the morning, when Kevin came home in the afternoon I was mad at him for being gone all day agian and I ignored him. (Following what God wants is SO hard!) Then today, once again. I receive email devotionals daily in email. What is today's?

Here's the title~ "A GRACE GIVER OR A GRUDGE BEARER"

Here's the main part, we need to give Grace to people.

"How can I give grace when non-grace comes naturally?" Here are a few practical steps:1. Ask Jesus to do it in you and through you. You cannot do it alone.2. Fill your mind with Scripture that talks about the grace of God. (Ephesians 1:7, for example)3. Reflect on how God has shown His grace to you. Has He been patient with you? Has He forgiven you? After you've blown it, does He not welcome you back?

I guess God is trying to tell me to be easier on my hubby, and also not be so selfish, my life is not just all about ME! Point being, I need prayer that I can be a less selfish thinking person, and think of others as more important then myself!

Blessed by my children

I was sitting here this morning, looking at my blog and the pictures on it of my children. I went to look at Danielle's blog (the girl who helped me put mine together) and I found another blog she just recently designed. http://sgirl79.blogspot.com/ I found myself consumed with reading the story and crying. Tears of joy and tears of deep sadness for the family that lost their son. When I hear about things like this it just reconfirms to me how very blessed I am to have four children, and also how fragile our life is, and how quickly someone you love can be taken from you. There's true meaning to the words don't waste a single moment of your time with people you love. These are the moments that all I can think about is loving my kids and enjoying them every min of everyday they are here. Sometimes we don't realize how blessed we are until we here someone else's story.
There's a link in my blog to Hollyn's caring bridge website, which is another family that touches my heart and are close in our community. She is a little girl from Jake and Autumns school with cancer. I spend time just praying for her and her family, and sometimes not understanding why children have to go through things like this, and thankful that my children are healthy.
Speaking of children, mine are getting wild so I guess it's time for me to sign off.

My first post!

Wow, I can't beleive I actually have a blog! I have wanted to start one of these for so long. I have made a new friend, Danielle who so graciously and patiently helped me put this blog together. I absolutley love the way it turned out! Thank you Danielle! I felt this title "Insanely Blessed" was very fitting for me. Most days I feel a lot of both, Insane and blessed!
I am hoping to use this blog to write down my daily happenings in this house with four children! Almost daily something happens that I would like to remember in the future when they are bigger but don't have anywhere to record it, now I do!
We had a busy day already today. This morning Autumn had her first Cheer leading clinic for THREE HOURS. Ben and I stayed for the entire thing because she didn't want me to leave. Ben was such a trooper and Autumn had a good time learning to cheer. So cute at 5 years old. :)
Then we went to Jake's last football game of the season, they won! Undefeated! I think that is such an accomplishment for their team. They all got shirts that said 7-0. Pretty cool idea! Jake's coach for the past two years was Mark Chumura. I think the kids liked him a lot and next year they will get a new team. Well that's it for now. I am going to go clean up a bit before Gracie wakes from her nap.....