More bleeding

Well, I've had two more bleeding episodes since Tues. On Friday Kevin was out on the tractor and I got frustrated and yelled to him and started bleeding. Ended up taking the ambulance to the hospital. By the time we got there the bleeding had stopped, we spent a few hours there, had a chest xray to make sure I didn't get blood in my lungs and they sent me home. Sat, I was in the chair in the living room, taking a cat nap, I coughed and started bleeding AGAIN!! This isn't just a little bit of blood either. It's quite a bit. I use my suction device, and it gets clogged so I stand by the kitchen sink suctioning my blood and use water to unclog the device. This time I was still bleeding pretty good by the time the ambulance got here. I was choking in the ambulance and couldn't breathe, gagging because the suction wasn't working. At the hospital the Dr. was looking down my throat trying to see where the bleeding was coming from and I coughed and he saw a blood clot that was hiding down behind my tongue, the only reason he saw it for a min was because I coughed. So we had to go in a special room, and he froze my throat and used some kind of utensil to pull the blood clot out. It was as big as a golf ball. No wonder It was affecting my breathing! I had a super nice nurse and he held my hand during the procedure. I am such a baby, I was so scared though because when he tried suctioning it out, it was just gagging me and I started freaking out.

They drew blood, and kept me a few hours and sent me home! I was and still am scared to be home, that this is going to happen again! 3 times in one week this is getting quite scary!!  Last night my sister slept over and slept down stairs on the couch by me, just in case. Praise God I made it through the night and so far all day today without any bleeding. I am praying that It doesn't happen anymore, that I start healing up now!! I still can't believe I was in an ambulance three times this week. I think this is the first time ever that I have ridden in one!!  I pretty much have stayed in my chair today for most of the day. I did take a shower, but I've been trying to basically do NOTHING just so I don't bleed anymore.

Tomorrow I am calling my ENT and going to try and get in to see him tomorrow. Just so he is up to date on what is going on with me since I had surgery at Mayo.

I feel like the most useless person right now. Can't do anything for anyone, not even myself! This is sure a humbling experience, having to rely on others for EVERYTHING , having to have people sleep over, just in case I might bleed.

I am so tired of this all. I just want to heal and be done with this!!

I am thankful for so many people in my life who are here for me and love me. I don't know how  I would do it without them.

Please pray for healing.No more bleeding!!

love you all.