Wating for answers.....

I am coveting your prayers that God will give our family some answers as to if I should be doing radiation or not, and if so, with what doctor.

I don't feel a peace either way right now, I don't feel at peace just rushing into radiation, but don't feel at peace saying no I'm not going to do it either.

I have fears both ways. Fears of long term side effects of the radiation, and fears of cancer coming back.

Fear is not from God, so I am waiting for God's peace, and for God to tell me and Kevin what his will is for me. What he wants us to do next.

It's hard to pray and wait for answers when doctors make you feel rushed to make decisions.

Today I was spending time with the Lord and he led to read in Matthew, so that's probably where I'll be reading out of this week.

As I was reading in Matthew 1, when I reached the end of the paragraph I always go to my commentary at the bottom of the page to read what it says. For Matt 1:19 I had already had something highlighted there from a previous time. This is the part that I had highlighted~

"But God often shows us that there are more options available then we think."

That gave me some hope. Maybe there's a different option then radiation? Maybe there isn't.  That obviously didn't tell me what to do, but it did give me a little hope, that just maybe God has something else in mind.

If there's anything new tomorrow I will write about it.

On a lighter note, I am starting to feel better. I am up more, picking up things, doing a little laundry, and I drove myself to my doc apt yesterday! All by myself. That's pretty big. It feels good to be getting better, depressing that I might have to start all over again with radiation.

Thank you for praying, I will let you know how God answers!!

love you.